#and a boat load of therapy

[psychic-waffles]

can we get pan yue a hug? can we please get pan yue a hug

[cosyvelvetorchid]

New bucktommy oneshot just landed!

I'll Crawl Home To Him

This was supposed to be a short drabble of an alternate meeting but it quickly ran away from me, lol.

Read on ao3 or below.

Enjoy!

**********

Word: 12,478

Rated: E

Summary:

Buck, visiting his parents with his sister and her family, end up leaving the house in a snowstorm after his parents prove yet again that they were incapable of change.

After finding himself at a local motel to get out of the storm, he unexpectedly finds himself spending the whole evening with the owner, who by an incredible coincidence used to work at the 118.

Before the night is over Buck’s entire world has been flipped upside down. But leaving to go back home was not going to be easy

**********

Buck knew it was a stupid idea to walk out of the house when a snow storm was just beginning but he was just so mad! Mad at his parents for being typically them, mad at his sister for convincing him to go there in the first place, but most of all he was mad at himself for, yet again, for believing that they had changed.

It had taken a while and a boat load of therapy—both separately and together—after the heart wrenching revelation of Buck having had an older brother that had died and everybody had kept it quiet like a dirty secret, for Buck to trust that they truly regretted their mistakes and wanted to make things right. The thing is, Buck knew that they would never have the kind of relationship he had wished that they could have had when he was growing up—he knew that that ship had sailed. He had accepted that at best they could have the kind of relationship where they could stand to be in the same room without fighting and maybe come to a mutual respect for one another.

But just as he had started to believe that they really did mean it when they said they wanted to change and build a relationship with their son, they show their true—and old—colours.

He’d had fights with his parents before; more than he could count, but this one, despite it being no different than other fights they’d had—his parents critiquing his life choices like they had done a thousand times before—hit different this time.

Maybe because it had been a while since they’d done it. Maybe because he’d believed they’d changed. Maybe because Maddie and Chim and Jee-Yun were there too or maybe because it was winter in Pennsylvania and he fucking hated the cold!

But it did hit different. He could almost hear the snap in his heart as his mother spat her usual vitriol at the son who could never do right.

His eyes were streaming as he trudged along the sidewalk-less road—a mixture of emotion and the ice-cold wind blowing into his face. He didn’t have a destination in mind when he left the house—he just knew he needed to get out. Get away.

He had no idea how long he had been walking—he’d turned off his phone after the 15th call from Maddie he’d ignored, and he hadn’t put his watch back on after shower he’d had just before the fight with his parents. He’s was only wearing sweats, a T-shirt and hoodie when he left the house—stopping only to put on his sneakers—and the snow that was now coming down heavily had quickly soaked his clothes through.

He knew he’d walked roughly 6 miles when he rounded a bend in the road and the Mountain Laurel motel came into view. He could have honestly walked another 20 miles, fuelled entirely by the anger he felt, but he was soaking wet and the last vestige of logical thinking left in his head told him it was probably a good idea to stop.

The sign high above flashed ‘vacancies, in big neon purple letters in front of the parking lot at the front of the motel that empty save for one truck parked by the entrance. He opened the creaking door to the foyer and stepped along the old, threadbare and ugly brown carpet, feeling a pang of guilt for leaving a wet trail in his wake.

The place smelt as though someone had emptied an empire can of pine scented air freshener and it made Bucks throat dry breathing it in. He approached the high mahogany counter and palmed at the scuffed bell and waited.

“One second!” Came a deep voice from the back room. A few seconds later the door at the back opened and a tall, well built man appeared wiping his mouth with a napkin. Buck immediately noticed the man’s striking blue eyes as he looked across at him.

“Sorry, was eating dinner.” He said. “Welcome to the Mountain Laurel. You’re looking for a room?”

“Uh, yeah. Please.” Buck answered wrapping his arms around himself in a pointless attempt to stop himself from shivering.

“Hmm, that might be difficult—we’re very busy tonight.” The man answered.

“Oh. Uh..” He truly couldn’t take anymore and was on the verge of more tears. The man noticed and his expression immediately changed.

“That was a joke.” He corrected. “Sorry, I’ve always been told I have a bad sense of humour. We’re actually completely empty tonight—you’re our only guest so if you want a room you have your pick of any.” He smiled warmly and deep lines appeared around his eyes. Buck let out a sigh of relief.

“Honestly, any room is fine.” He said sighing. The man typed on the computer that looked like it was made before he Buck was born, then unhooked a key from the hooks on the wall behind him.

“Room number two it is.” He said. “Name?”

“Evan Buckley.”

“How long are you staying, Evan?”

“Uh..” Buck hadn’t thought about that. He hadn’t thought he’d be staying in a motel at all. “I..”

The man seemed to sense that Buck was struggling and offered a helping hand. “I’ll put you down for one night and if you want to extend your stay just let me know.”

“Thanks, th-that would be, uh.. yeah.”

“Good. Are you paying by cash or card?”

“Card.” He said opening his wallet. The man gave him the price and completed the transaction before handing Buck his card back and then a room key.

“Second room on the left as you go outside. You need any help with bags?”

“No, I.. I didn’t come with any.” Buck admitted.

“Oh.” The man said with surprise. “Well, if you need anything I’ll be here.” He smiled again and Buck tried to reciprocate but didn’t have the energy for anything other than a half smile.

The room was as basic as he’d expected for a cheap Pennsylvania motel. A double bed, with surprisingly white linen for this type of establishment, on one side of the room, with a cheap wooden nightstand on either side of it, each with a lamp. Opposite the bed was a mid sized dresser with a TV from the dark ages sat atop.

Usually the first thing he’d check was the state of the bathroom but he simply didn’t have the energy to do so. Instead he slumped onto the edge of bed and put his head in his hands.

A knock at the door startled him. He opened it to find the man from the reception standing there.

“Uh, hey..”

“Tommy.” The man introduced.

“Tommy, right. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I, uh, thought you could use these.” He held out a small pile of clothes. Buck looked at him with a mixture of surprise and confusion. “You’re clearly soaked to the bone and you said you didn’t have any bags with you. They’re nothing special—just some old sweats, a T-shirt and hoodie. No underwear though—that would be weird.” He chuckled.

Buck felt kind of pathetic. This guy—Tommy—pitied him. Why else would he offer his clothes to a stranger? He was a grown man for god sake and here he was contemplating accepting clothes from a stranger and all because he didn’t want to see his parents.

“If you don’t need them..” Tommy began to say and Buck almost snatched the clothes out of his hand. Regardless of how he was feeling about it, he couldn’t deny that he was soaking wet and freezing cold, and a hot shower and fresh clothes—even those belonging to a stranger—did sound nice.

“No! I mean.. thank you that’s.. that would be helpful.” Tommy handed them over. “Thanks, To-Tommy.”

“You’re welcome, Evan. And if want a beer or something to eat I’ll be in the entertainment centre.”

Buck raised his eyebrows in surprise. “You have an entertainment centre?”

“We have uncomfortable chairs, a flat screen and beer fridge if that counts?”

Buck couldn’t help let out a huffed laugh. “Uh, I don’t know—I’m pretty exhausted.” He told Tommy honestly.

“Fair enough. Well, if you change your mind.” Tommy shot him a finger gun and began to turn away.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, Evan.”

Buck considered correcting Tommy and telling him he’d rather go by Buck, but he really didn’t care all that much. He’d spent the last 3 days continuously correcting his parents which didn’t make a damn difference—“We chose your name so we have the right to use it.”—his mother had said, and quite frankly he was tired of correcting.

He finally decided to inspect the bathroom and was impressed to find it was actually clean—no soap scum on the mirror or around the sink, no mildew in the bathtub or white calcium build up on the shower. And the toilet actually looked like it had been cleaned!

He turned on the shower above the bath tub, removed his wet clothes and got in under the hot water, hoping the heat would wash away his feelings.

He wasn’t that lucky.

**

He inspected himself in the full length mirror on the back of the bathroom door. He almost laughed at how ridiculous he looked in Tommys clothes. The shirt and hoodie were fine, if a little bigger on him than he would usually prefer. But the sweatpants were loose on the ass, tight on the thighs and short on the leg.

They smelled really good he had noticed—a warm, spiced scent. He toyed with the idea of asking Tommy what detergent he used but that would probably be weird, right? Although no weirder than giving a stranger your clothes he supposed.

He looked at his still turned off phone and contemplated turning it on to call Bobby as he would tell him it would be okay. But, quite frankly, he didn’t want that. At least not yet. He was righteously angry and didn’t need anybody telling him it’ll all be okay.

Instead, he turned it not, ignored all the messages that came in, shot a quick text to Maddie telling her he was okay and needed space, then shut it off again and left his room.

He walked into the ‘Entertainment centre’, which Tommy wasn’t kidding when he described it—a few tables with chairs, a flat screen tv on the back wall and a small counter which presumably had a beer fridge behind it. The door opened behind him and Tommy walked into the room.

“Evan. You changed your mind.” He said with a surprise. His eyes looked down Bucks body wearing his clothes and he raised an eyebrow when he saw the flash of ankle sticking out of the bottom of the sweatpants. Buck felt himself blush.

“Long legs.” He answered to an unasked question.

“I can see.” Tommy replied; the corner his mouth rising. “Can I get you a beer?”

“Uh, Yeah.” Tommy removed two bottles from the fridge behind the counter, opened them both and handed one to Buck. “Thanks.” Tommy leant on the counter as Buck stood looking at his surroundings. “So how long have you worked here?” Tommy laughed into his beer bottle. “What?”

“I own the place, kid.”

“Oh.”

“That surprise you?” He asked.

“Kinda, yeah.”

“Why?” Tommy asked.

“You look like you.. I dunno.. like-like you’d do something more physical for a living.” He replied looking at Tommy’s arms. The plaid shirt he was wearing over a Henley wasn’t exactly hiding his large biceps. He wondered if they were bigger than his.

“You’re not exactly wrong—I’m actually a firefighter.“

“No way? I’m a firefighter too.” Buck excitedly said.

“Yeah? Here in Hershey?”

“Uh, no, thank god. L.A. The 118.”

Tommys mouth slackened and he stared at Buck in disbelief. “Nash still Captain?”

Now it was Bucks turn to be in a state of disbelief. “You know Bobby?”

Tommy chuckled. “He was my captain.” Buck put his beer down on the counter a little too hard and foam rushed out of the top of the bottle.

“Shit! Sorry!” He tried bent forward to catch some of it in his mouth and Tommy just looked at him wide-eyed before swallowing and grabbing some paper towels from under the counter.

“Don’t worry, I got it.” He lifted up the bottle and wiped the counter down.

“I can’t believe Bobby was your captain. When did you leave the 118?”

“I transferred out about 6 years ago—went to harbor.”

“Holy shit you’re Tommy!” Buck exclaimed after doing the math in his head.

“Usually.” He quipped.

“You helped us with that fire at Doheny Park.”

Tommy nodded remembering Howie’s call. “Well, it wasn’t just me, but yeah. How is Howie by the way? We haven’t spoken in a while.”

Buck couldn’t help but laugh. “He’s good. He’s, uh, actually engaged to my sister, Maddie. Got a kid, too.”

“Wow! Good for him.”

“Yeah. He’s here, actually, with Maddie and my niece.” Buck told him. Tommy’s face changed to confusion.

“So why are you here and not with them?”

It was a valid question but Buck wasn’t really sure if he wanted to answer it. Truth be told he actually wanted to scream it all out; get all of the frustration and anger and resentment out of his system, but Tommy had already done enough for him by lending him his clothes—the last thing he needed was to hear about Bucks pathetic family problems.

“They’re, uh.. they’re with my parents.” He simply answered.

“And I’m guessing you don’t want to be?” Tommy gathered.

“Nope.” Buck said simply. Tommy correctly ascertained that he didn’t want to talk about it and changed the subject.

“So, what’s the 118 like these days?” He asked instead and Bucks face opened into a smile.

“It’s good. We’re a family. I couldn’t imagine being stationed anywhere else.”

“That’s good. I remember Captain Nash introducing family dinners.” Tommy said fondly remembering them.

Buck nodded as he sipped his beer. “He still does them. Actually, he’s been teaching me since I joined and recently he’s started letting me cook for everyone.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m not as good as him, but the team seems to like it. So, was Bobby always your captain?”

Tommys shifted uncomfortably in his stance and sighed. “No. For most of the time I was there we had Gerrard at the helm.”

“Chim and Hen have talked about him. Bad guy, right?”

“That’s putting it mildly—he was a bigot. And I.. he did not make me a better person.”

Buck wanted to ask what he meant but wasn’t sure if he could. Tommy, however, surprised him.

“I wasn’t the kindest to Hen and Howie when they first joined the 118.” He admitted. “I never agreed with the things that Gerrard would say or how he treated them, but I was way deep in the closet back then and terrified of being found out and Gerard making me a target. That’s not an excuse, by the way—I was wrong in how I handle it; handled him, but like I said—he did not make me a better person.” He took a sip from his bottle then continued picking at the sticker on it.

Buck wasn’t sure how to respond to Tommy’s candour. He obviously felt bad—his body language and facial expressions gave that away as he was speaking.

“I mean, if it makes you feel better whenever Chim and Hen talk about you it’s always positive.”

“Hmm.” Tommy responded, neither negative nor positive.

“Were you, uh.. out at the 118? I mean when Bobby took over?”

Tommy shook his head. “No. I knew everyone else would probably be fine with it, but I wasn’t. It wasn’t until I moved to Harbor that I stopped lying about who I was.” Tommy walked out from the counter and gestured towards one of the tables and they both sat down.

“Is that why you transferred?”

“No, I missed flying. Used to do it in the army.”

“God you’re so fucking cool!” Buck exclaimed without thinking and immediately felt his face flush with embarrassment. He could have sworn, though, that he saw a subtle blush to Tommy’s cheeks too.

“You need to raise your bar, kid.”

“Come on—you’re a firefighter and a pilot!” Buck argued. Tommy held his eyes to him for a moment and smiled.

Buck felt a warmth run through him as he looked at Tommy. He wondered what it would have been like if he’d have joined the 118 and Tommy was still there. Not to mention It was one hell of a coincidence that the man who left the 118 and creating the space for him to join, happened to be running a hotel a few miles away from his parent’s house.

“It’s crazy isn’t it?”

“What is?”

“You and me, here. I-I mean you leave the 118 so that I can join. 6 years later you’re running a motel in my home town.”

“It definitely is strange.” Tommy said.

“How come you’re here?”

“This placed used to belong to my dad.”

“Did he hand it down to you?”

Tommy almost choked on his beer. “God no! He be turning in his grave if he knew I owned the place.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realise he’d passed away.”

Tommy waved him away “Don’t be—he was a bastard. He was the reason I knew how to handle Gerrard. He actually left the place to my uncle in his will, but then he died a few months ago and it was passed on to me. I’m only keeping it open until I can find a buyer, then I’m going back to L.A.”

“Back to Harbor?”

“That’s the plan.” He finished the last of his beer. “You want another?”

“Sure.” Buck said finishing off the last of his. Tommy got them both a fresh bottle and sat back down.

“Thanks.”

Tommy looked at Buck with narrowed eyes for a moment before a wave of realisation came over him. “I just realised who you are.”

“The hottest firefighter in L.A?” Buck joked.

“That too.” Tommy said with a smirk and Buck found himself blushing again. Tommy noticed but said nothing of it.

“You’re the guy that got crushed by the engine.”

Bucks smile slowly fell. “Uh, yeah. That-that was me.” He looked down at his beer bottle.

“I’m sorry, Evan. We don’t have to talk about it.” Tommy said softly.

“No it’s.. it’s fine. It was just a hard time, you know?”

“I can imagine.”

“I thought my career was over. I got through all the surgeries and rehab, and just when I passed my recertification I threw a blood clot in my lung. Puked up blood all over Bobby and Athena’s patio.”

“Jesus, Evan.”

“Yeah. Then I was on blood thinners for a while and Bobby wouldn’t let me back on the team out of fear something would happen to me.”

“That makes sense.”

“I know that now, but back then? Man, I was so angry. And desperate. The 118 was, is, my life. It’s the only thing I’ve ever done that meant something and the idea of losing it?” He swallowed away the emotion rising in his throat. It was years since it happened but the memory of the fear and trauma of what he went through were a still a part of him. Likely would be forever.

“I’m ashamed to admit but I actually tried to sue the department. And Bobby.”

“Seriously?”

“Yep. Like I said I was just so angry. I couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t let me back in. Yeah I was on blood thinners but I was on them and survived a god damn tsunami. Saved some lives too.”

“You were in the tsunami?” Tommy asked.

“I was on the pier with my best friend’s kid when it hit.”

“Sounds like you need to be wrapped in bubble wrap.”

“I think that was Bobby’s thought, too. Anyway, eventually I came to my senses and dropped the lawsuit. And-and Bobby realised that he needed to trust that I was ready and let me back in.”

“What about the blood thinners? You still take them?”

“No.” He said “turns out it was the bolts on my leg causing them. Once they removed them I was back to normal.” He smiled.

“Here’s to that.” Tommy lifted up his beer and Buck clinked his bottle into Tommy’s. “Any other life threatening injuries on the job?”

“The emergency tracheotomy wasn’t on the job so that doesn’t count, but-“

“Hold up.” Tommy sat up in his seat “you had an emergency tracheotomy?”

Buck pulled down the neck of his, well, Tommy’s, T-shirt to show him the faded scar. “Yep. Worst first date ever.”

“It happened on a first date?!”

Buck couldn’t help but laugh at Tommy’s shock.

“She was the one who did it.”

“Holy shit, really?!”

“Yep. With a steak knife.” He added. Tommys eyes widened. “I feel like I should point out she was a 911 operator so not exactly a laymen. But she had someone one the phone talking her through it.”

“Jesus, Evan. Anything else?”

“I did get struck by lightning.”

Tommy choked on the sip of beer he was drinking and coughed.

“Are you okay?” Buck asked.

“Are you?!” Tommy threw back.

“Miraculously, yeah. Though technically I did die for over 3 minutes.” He said plainly.

“I think I’m might have to wrap you in bubble wrap and keep you here for safety.” Tommy said shaking us head.

“What, like your pet?” Tommys head quickly shot back to Buck. His head was tilted with a soft smirk on his face.

Buck didn’t know what he said that. Tommys pet? Really? jesus, Evan!

“You have any major injuries at work?” He quickly moving the conversation along.

“Just one.” He stood and lifted his shirt up to reveal a long scar—about 4 inches long—on the right side of his upper torso. “Factory explosion. Caught a big piece of shrapnel.”

Before Buck knew what he was doing his hand was reaching out and his fingertips were delicately tracing the scar. Tommy audibly inhaled a breath and goosebumps exploded on his skin. The sound of Tommy breathing in brought Buck back to reality.

“I’m-I’m sorry—I shouldn’t have.. that wasn’t.. sorry.” He quickly withdrew his hand and sat it in his lap. He suddenly couldn’t look Tommy in the eye. What the hell was that he just did?!

“It’s fine.” Tommy said lowering his shirt and sitting back down.

“So what happened with the tracheotomy first date? Did anything happen with them?”

“Yeah, I uh, actually lived with her for a while. Sorry of accidentally, really.”

“How do you accidentally live with someone?” Tommy asked, a curious look on his face. Buck chuckled.

“She was taking care of her mom at the time, Alzheimer’s, and after she died I wanted to better for her to help her through it. At some point I just sort never left.” He explained.

“But you broke up eventually?”

Buck sighed. “Yeah. She, uh, was having a hard time with her moms passing and decided to go travelling; have a “Eat, Pray, Love” experience, which, I didn’t know what that meant at the time—did you know it was a book? Apparently this lady wanted to find herself after getting divorced. Which I kind of get. Not-not the divorce part—the finding yourself part-” Buck stopped himself. “Sorry, I’m rambling.”

“Ramble away, I don’t mind.” Tommy told him with an easy smile. It made Buck feel at ease. Plenty of people, mostly exes, had told him they didn’t mind him rambling but he knew they were just saying it to not hurt his feelings. But there was something about how Tommy was looking at him that told him he was being genuine.

“Anyway, long story short she never came back.” He sipped his beer. “Mmm, that’s not true—she did come back about a year and half later with a fiancé in tow.”

“Ouch.” Tommy said. Buck nodded in agreement.

“But I mean I get it now—she was an older woman and she’d lived so long being the safety net for other people and she’d lost herself along the way. I think being with me reminded her of being a little more care free, but it wasn’t sustainable. Least not for her.”

“How old was she?”

“45.”

“And you were?”

“Uh, 23.”

“So you like them older?” Tommy smirked.

Buck laughed. “Uh, not really. I mean I don’t really care about age, it’s more about competency for me. I like people who are good at what they do and can confidently do it.”

“I get that.” He said. They held eye contract for a moment and Buck realised he actually felt a little better than he had when he had walked in. There was something so easy about Tommy. He never would have shared what he had with anybody else he’d just met.

“What about you? You ever had your heart broken?” Buck asked.

“Once.” Tommy answered. “Guy I served with. For obvious reasons we kept it secret, but after we got discharged I thought that we could actually have something. Turned out he just saw me as a way to pass the time while on tour. He’s married to a woman now with a couple of kids.”

“I’m sorry, that’s.. that sucks.”

“It did for a while.” He confessed.

“You ever come close since?” Buck asked.

Tommy shook his head. “Not really. I’ve dated here and there but most guys that are attracted to me because of my physique and being a firefighter.”

“Yeah, it must be so hard being so hot.” Buck teased. Tommy laughed and nudged Bucks leg with his knee under the table then turned it back on Buck.

“But you think I’m hot?” Tommy looked at Buck and pursed his lips. Buck lost all moisture in his mouth and is heart thudded against his ribcage. It wasn’t.. it’s not like he didn’t know Tommy was.. Look, anybody with working eyes could see that he was gorgeous. He was tall, board and muscular and that cleft.. he’d be lying if he said he didn’t, kind of, sort of, maybe a little bit want to poke his pinky finger into it. Those eyes too—big and blue and surrounded by extraordinarily long eyelashes.

“You know you are.” He said back trying to sound confident. Tommy simply smirked again in response.

“Well, it would be nice to meet someone who was interested in getting to know me as a person.”

“Nah, I get it—people are impressed with the job but once they realise you’re an actual person with feelings they don’t stick around for long.” Buck commiserated with him.

“It’s why I don’t date people I meet on calls anymore.”

“Uh-huh.” Buck said into his bottle. “You know I once met an ex responding to a helicopter crash, which.. should have been the first clue.”

“Yeah it’s never works out the way you expect.” Tommy agreed.

“Learned that the third time around.” Buck laughed. “I met the last one at a living funeral—she was a death doula.”

“What the hell is a death doula?” Tommy asked.

“She helped people who were terminally ill accept that they were dying and supported them through it.” Buck explained.

“Oh, well that’s noble.”

“Yeah, I thought so. Until all she wanted to talk about was when I died from the lightning strike.” He said and Tommy scoffed.

Without warning everything went dark and silence surrounded them.

“Well that was creepy timing.”

“God damn electrics in this place!” Tommy complained with a sigh and turned on the flashlight on his phone. “I swear one tiny breeze and this whole place will fall down.”

“Can you fix it?” Buck asked.

“Ordinarily I would be able to get it going again, however.. the electrics are in a separate building out back and..” he pointed to the window behind Buck. He turned around to see the blizzard raging outside.

“Jesus! Yeah you can’t go out in that.”

Tommy pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed again. “Okay. Here’s what we’re going to do.” He took the key to his room and held it out to Buck. “You go to my room, and I’ll lock up the place and meet you there in a minute.”

Buck looked at him with a hint of surprise on his face. “Y-your room?”

“The heat in all the rooms runs on electric—my room is the only one that also has a fireplace. So unless you want to freeze to death it’s the best place to be to keep warm.”

“Ri-right. That makes sense.” Buck conceded.

“First room outside.”

“You have a flashlight?” Buck asked.

“Can’t you use the one on your phone?”

“No, it’s in my room. And turned off.” Tommy analysed Buck for a second before brushing it away. “Okay. Hold on here for a second.”

Buck heard him moving around in back room for a minute before walking back out with an open backpack in his hands. He opened the fridge behind the counter and he heard the clinking of bottles being shoved inside it.

“God that snow is really getting heavy.” Buck said looking out the light the glass door. There was at last 2 or 3 inches on the ground and there was no signs of it letting up.

“Yeah. You ready?” Tommy asked.

“Yeah.”

Tommy opened the door letting Buck out and quickly closed and locked it. They both raised their forearms to shield their faces from the snow as walked quickly to Tommys door 10 or so feet away.

“You got the key?”

“Shit. Right, yeah.” Buck took it from his pocket and unlocked the door and they entered the room with Tommy shutting and locking it behind them.

“Hold on one second..” he said putting his backpack down and unzipping it. He removed a large pillar candle and a lighter from the bag and lit it. The room was subtly illuminated in a warm glow. It wasn’t enough to really get a good look at the room, but from what Buck could see it Tommy was definitely a tidy, squared away person. The bed was made with the same white linens as his own, save for a fleeced blanket folded at the bottom of the bed. There was the same night stands and dresser that he had in his room, except a much bigger, and more modern TV.

Tommy removed a bunch more candles from the bag, lit them and dotted them around the room.

“I would have thought a firefighter would recognise a fire hazard when he saw one.” Buck teased as he watched Tommy the candles.

“I won’t tell if you won’t.” He said back with that smirk that Buck was beginning to find quite pleasant.

“You’ve put me in a really good blackmailing position, you know?” Buck replied.

“Is that so?” Tommy said with a casual smoothness to his voice that Buck didn’t know what to make of. He sounded flirtatious which—no, he wasn’t flirting, right? That—he wasn’t against being flirted with. He liked flirting and he couldn’t deny that it always felt nice. He’d had guys flirt with him before and it wasn’t as if he were ever offended by it—he had a healthy confidence in his looks and was never short of flirtatious attention when he was on the job and in his turnouts, from any gender. He appreciated it and saw it as a compliment when men flirted with him, but he was never really in to it.

But with Tommy.. Buck was sort of in awe of him—he was just so effortlessly cool. He made Buck feel like the cool kids made him feel when he was at school—wanting to do something stupid to impress him. That would explain the feeling in deep in his stomach that had been growing since they’d been hanging out—he was just impressed by the man.

“What is it you want in return for your silence? I don’t have a lot of money, but I do make a mean chilli. Maybe I can bride you with food.”

Buck couldn’t help but smile. “I don’t think even you could do that in a blackout.”

Tommy laughed. “Well, obviously not right now. I was thinking maybe in a day or 2 when the storms gone and obviously when we have power back. Unless you’re going back to L.A soon?”

He looked at Buck in a way that Buck thought might be hopeful.

“Uh.. I don’t actually know when I’m going back to L.A. We were supposed to stay for another few days but.. my parents..” He sighed.

“Not great?” Tommy asked. He took the backpack to the sofa underneath the curtained window and pulled out a beer each and sat down, handing a bottle to Buck.

“Thanks. Uh, not really. They.. I thought.. they promised me they had changed; that they wanted to change. But they’re just the same people who will always be disappointed in me.” He drank down a few gulps of beer and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

“What made them disappointed?”

“This time? That I went back to work after the lightning strike. Apparently an act of God was just more proof of how dangerous my job is and that it it’s stupid to risk my life everyday. The funny thing is they lavish Chimney with praise for doing the exact same job because he’s doing it to provide for their daughter and granddaughter—I don’t have a partner or kid so I’m just being the same old reckless Evan.” He rolled his eyes.

Buck instinctively went to apologise for rambling but quickly realised it actually felt good to get it out.

“That sounds really tough.”

“You have no idea. It’s ironic—they were never around for me or Maddie growing up; never there to guide us or help us make the right choices in life, and then they have the nerve to criticise the choices we did make. I-I thought that after what happened a few years ago that things would actually change. Guess I was wrong again.”

“What happened a few years ago, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Buck sat back on the sofa and turned a little to face Tommy. “I found out I had an older brother, Daniel. He had Leukaemia. None of the family were a match for him and so..” he gestured to himself “..so they made one. Except, the cells didn’t take and, uh.. he died.”

“God, Evan I’m so sorry.” Tommy said “that must have been.. I don’t even know.”

“Yeah. After that my parents packed up and moved us away; made Maddie swear to keep Daniel a secret. She was 9 years old, Tommy. What kind of parents force a nine year old to keep that kind of secret? The only reason I found out was because my parents had brought my sister her baby box when she was pregnant with my niece—unsurprisingly they never made one for me—and I found a picture of Daniel in there. Maddie couldn’t keep the secret any more and told me about him.”

He wiped away the tear that had escaped his eye without permission. “Although it finally made me understand why my parents had been distant with me my whole life—I was the living, breathing reminder of the death of the son they actually wanted.” He sniffed and drank some more beer.

Tommy’s hand, which was rested on the back of the sofa, moved to the back of Bucks neck. It was a gentle act of comfort, one that Buck wasn’t expecting. He felt a warmth spread around his body at the touch. He looked at Tommy who was looking back at him with a sad expression. His eyes really were quite beautiful.

Buck looked back down at his beer bottle as Tommy returned his hand to the back of the sofa.

“Seems shitty parents are another thing we have in common, kid.” Tommy said.

“What were yours like?”

“You know how people say that someone might be the father they never had? Well Gerrard was like the father I already had. Actually, Gerrard was a walk in the park compared to Pops.”

“Yeah?

Tommy nodded. “Thomas Kinard Senior had a very.. traditional idea of what it meant to be a man. One that he wasn’t afraid to beat into me. And that was before he found it I was gay. I think he truly thought it could beat the homosexuality out of me.” He laughed but it didn’t meet his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Tommy. God now I feel bad for complaining about my parents knowing you were beaten.”

Tommys hand went straight back to Bucks neck and he turned his body towards him more. “No, Evan—you have every right to feel how you feel about your parents. Your parents hurt you and that’s valid.”

Buck nodded, deciding not to argue. “What about your mom?”

“Mom was.. troubled. Part of me doesn’t blame her for staying with him—he beat her more than he beat me, but.. a part of me will always wonder how she could watch her husband beat her son and not step in, you know?”

“My sister was in an abusive marriage. She told me once that when you’re in it that you can’t believe that it’s happening. Maybe that’s why your mom stayed?” Buck offered. He wanted to offer more to comfort Tommy but he didn’t know what else to give him.

“I mean that makes sense. I’ll never know through.” He said and Buck looked at him confused. “She died about a year after my dad.”

Without thinking about it Buck reached out and put his hand on Tommy’s that was holding his beer. A fleeting look of surprise came over Tommy’s face before it softened and he placed his other hand over the top of Bucks.

“I don’t even know what to say other than I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to say anything, but I appreciate it, Evan.”

He’d barely known Tommy a couple of hours yet his heart hurt for him. He couldn’t help imagine him as a young kid on the receiving end of bruises instead of love.

He felt Tommys thumb brush along his hand and suddenly he became viscerally aware of his own pulse. Did it always throb this hard in his ears? Was it always this fast? And his lungs—why was he having to concentrate on breathing? Surely that’s supposed to be an automatic bodily function.

A strong gust of wind rattled the old windows surprising them both. They separated their hands and Buck felt a surprising pang of disappointment.

“Th-that the bathroom?” He pointed to the door on the other side of the bed.

“Uh, Yeah.”

Buck put his bottle down on the small coffee table in front of them and picked up one the candles to light his way. He locked the door behind him and leant against door.

This couldn’t be happening. Well, it could—it was a totally normal thing, but it had never happened to Buck before. Sure he’d checked out a hot guys ass here or there but this? Tommy? This felt like the beginnings of an actual crush and not just admiring someone’s attractive features. The ease with which he could talk about some of the worst things that he’d been through with him, the comfort he’d felt with Tommys hand in his skin, and the feeling of something being missing when Tommys hand left his were not things he’d expected.

After peeing and washing his hands he leant against the sink and looked at himself in the mirror. He’d half expected to see a change to his own reflection and was somehow both disappointed and relieved to see the same old face staring back at him.

He took a deep breath and opened the bathroom door to see Tommy lighting the fire, and the sound of soft music playing from Tommys phone on the coffee table.

“That Sinatra?” He asked.

“Yeah. I felt like putting on some music and he’s the only artist I have on my phone, currently.”

“You do know you can download more?” Buck said with soft sarcasm.

“Yes, Einstein. I just.. haven’t yet.” Tommy said back.

“Why Sinatra? You don’t strike me as a fan”

“No? What do I strike you as a fan of?”

“Dad rock.” Buck replied and that caused Tommy to bark out a laugh.

“Hey, there is nothing wrong with a little soft rock, thank you. But Sinatra reminds me of my aunt. When I was a kid she used to take me to this little community hall with her friends where they would dance. Fell a little in love with Sinatra, Dean Martin and that kinda stuff.”

Buck actually found that unbelievably endearing. “So you’re a dancer, huh?”

“I’m not an expert by any means but I know my way around a ballroom.”

“That’s more than I can do. Last time I danced—not including jumping around like an idiot in a club—was senior prom. And that only involved swaying.”

“I could teach you.” Tommy offered.

“Yeah? Would that be before or after your famous Chilli?” Buck asked.

“No time like the present.” Tommy suggested to Bucks surprise.

“Really?”

“We’re in a blackout with nothing else to do so why not?”

“O-okay.” He agreed. And suddenly he could feel his pulse again. Tommy came over and stood in front of him.

“At the risk of sounding disgustingly heteronormative, you’re going to be the woman in this scenario, okay?” He said and Buck simply nodded.

“Okay, so you’re going to put one hand here -“ he took Bucks left hand and placed it on his waist. “-and the other I’ll hold here.” He held Bucks right hand in the air while his other went around bucks shoulder to his back. He looked down at the space in between them at their feet. “Just mirror what I’m doing with my feet.”

He began swaying gently and moving his feet in slow sequence with the rhythm of the music. Buck kept his head down watching Tommys feet trying to mirror his movements. Occasionally he would move his feet out of sync with Tommys, and each time a wave of embarrassment flushed through him.

“You’re doing good.” Tommy said and a burst of excitement exploded in his stomach at hearing the praise. Slowly Buck committed the steps to memory and looked up with pride at Tommy who was smiling softly at him.

“I gotta say you’re picking it up quicker than I did.” He confessed.

“Yeah?”

“I mean in my defence I was eight.” He said and Buck couldn’t help but laugh.

“Well you’re a good teacher. Maybe you missed your calling.”

“You think?” Tommy

“I’m sure there would be plenty of people who would pay to have you throw them around a ballroom.”

“Huh.” Tommy said. “Like this?” He moved his hand down to the small of Bucks back and quickly bent him down into a dip before bringing him back up again; their chests coming together.

“Holy shit!” Buck looked at Tommy entirely mesmerised. His stomach hadn’t got a clue what was happening. Neither did his brain. “That was.. wow.”

Tommy laughed at Bucks reaction.

“Impressive, no?” He teased.

“Uh.. ye-yeah.”

“How about this?” Without giving him time to think he lifted up the arm that had the hand holding Bucks and swung it around with just enough force behind it to spin him around before catching him perfectly in the same position as before. Bucks mouth opened in shock but no words came out.

He was utterly mesmerised.

Tommy just softly laughed. “Okay, no more surprise moves for now.” He said and continued their previous steps. Buck was moving his feet without even thinking about it. He had no idea if he was moving his feet correctly—he was far too distracted by Tommy looking at him.

“I have to say I wasn’t expecting the day to end like this when I got on a plane this morning.”

“You mean you didn’t foresee getting a dancing lesson from a-what was it you called me? Ah, yes—a hot firefighter.” Tommy’s lips slid into another smirk. Buck dipped his head bashfully and looked back up at him, shaking his head at his own embarrassment.

“You’re adorable.” Tommy said and Buck literally felt his heart skip a full beat.

“You’re loving this aren’t you?” Buck asked trying and failing to suppress an embarrassed smile.

“Little bit.” Tommy smiled back. Buck sighed and let his forehead fall onto Tommys shoulder. The hand that was on his back slid upwards and the next thing he felt was Tommys fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. He shivered and blew out a breath; failing miserably at hiding how shaky it came out. He lifted his head back up at met Tommys gaze.

His eyes were glued to Tommy’s, until they quickly darted to his lips. Buck was helpless as to stop himself from doing the same thing.

And then..

And then Tommys lips were on his.

It was so unbelievably soft and gentle; a complete contrast to his hulking physique. Neither of their lips were moving but it didn’t stop Bucks entire brain framework from short circuiting.

Tommy slowly pulled away, opening his eyes to see Buck staring at him heavy lidded and his mouth open.

“Was that okay?” He asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Buck willed his vocal cords to answer but they couldn’t. He was just so overwhelmed with far too many feelings that any human should reasonably have to deal with in a given moment. He responded in the only way that he was capable of.

And kissed Tommy back.

The kiss was more desperate than the one Tommy had given him and he pushed his lips into Tommy’s deeply. Tommy hummed in surprise but immediately pushed back into the kiss. He held on to the side of Bucks neck; his thumb on the hinge of his jaw as his other hand held him by the waist to his own body.

Almost immediately Buck opened his mouth to allow Tommy access and the first brush of Tommys tongue against his bottom lip sent an electric current through his entire body. His hands, that were gripping on to Tommys shirt tightly, slid up to his neck, holding him tightly in place. He’d pull him closer into his mouth if he could.

His mouth was warm and wet and tasting of beer and Buck couldn’t get enough. He was frantically trying to breath through his nose, not wanting to part his lips from Tommys even for a second to breath.

It was ridiculous. Utterly, utterly ridiculous. Never in his life had he ever thought about kissing another man and yet here he was doing exactly that and it felt-

Right.

His lips slotting between Tommy’s like the missing piece of the jigsaw, that was his whole self, being slotted into place. His whole life he’d felt like there was a puzzle to complete but it came without instructions or a finished image to give him a clue as to how to complete it. He’d gone to so many places; done so many things in an attempt to figure it out.. Yet here it was—the missing piece of the puzzle and it came in the form of a beautiful man named Tommy Kinard.

Buck hadn’t particularly articulated all of this to himself—that would come later—but all he knew; all he felt was wanting. He wanted Tommy. In any way that he would allow Buck to have him.

In an act of instinct that his brain wasn’t involved in he pressed his hips forward into Tommy’s. They both moaned at the touch and Buck went from half hard to fully engorged at the feel of Tommy’s erection against his. Tommy—grabbing his ass with one hand; the other on Bucks face—deepened the kiss.

Buck could barely breathe from the overwhelm of heat flowing into every inch of his body. His nerves were on edge with thrill and anticipation as they ground their hips together.

Tommy’s lips moved along Bucks jaw, down his neck and he sucked delicately at his collarbone. Bucks head tilted to the side and he breathed loudly outwards.

“Shit…Tommy..”

Tommy hummed at the sound of Bucks exclamation and grabbed his ass harder, pushing his groin into Buck. Buck needed to taste him again and dipped his head, catching Tommy’s lips with his own. God, Tommys lips were perfect! They moved wondrously, with the perfect amount of pressure. His tongue was deft and purposeful in its movements and tasted like heaven.

He almost cried when Tommy gently pulled away. He held bucks face in his hands and rested their foreheads together.

“Evan..” he said breathy “we should st-“

“No.” Buck interrupted. He pulled his head back to look at Tommy. “I don’t want to. I.. I want you.” Tommy swallowed, looked down at Bucks lips then back up to his eyes.

“Are you sure?” He whispered.

And once again Buck answered without words. This time however, having more confidence, he took his time. He slowly ran his hand along Tommys jaw, gripping him lightly with a thumb against the hinge and pressed his lips into Tommy’s.

A shiver went through him as the palms of Tommys hands pressed against his shoulder blades, holding him tightly to his chest. Being held by someone as big as Tommy was illuminatingly wonderful. For the first time in a long time Buck felt safe.

Buck was radiating enough heat that he feared he might actually melt into a puddle. He unzipped the hoodie he was wearing and let it fall to the floor before peeling Tommys open shirt over his shoulders and dropping it to the floor too. He immediately pulled at the hem of his undershirt and Tommy raised his arms allowing Buck to remove it. Tommy pressed another kiss onto Bucks lips then pulled off his T-shirt.

Tommy went straight for Bucks neck again and goosebumps exploded all over his skin. His hands pressed against Tommy’s chest—his finger tips caressing the smattering of hair along Tommys skin. This was something overwhelmingly new and unexpectedly exciting for Buck. Lack of breasts was one thing, but the feeling of chest hair under his fingers was surprisingly turning him on.

They migrated towards the bed with Buck getting on first and pulling Tommy on top of him without even breaking the kiss. And holy shit he never knew that having the weight of someone near enough the same weight as him—perhaps a little heavier—would feel so good!

Both of their hands were all over every inch of skin they could get too. Caressing and stroking and rubbing and kissing—no inch of bare skin was left untouched.

Buck trailed wet open-mouthed kiss along Tommy’s throat; his tongue licking into every one of them. Tommy was breathing heavily into it and Buck felt awash with pride and self satisfaction. He had game when it came to women—he knew what buttons to press to turn them on, but there was something extra exhilarating about turning on this man on top of him.

And he was a man. Buck was quickly beginning to realise that what was turning him on the most was Tommy’s masculinity. His weight, his breadth, his body hair, even the stubble on his chin that was burning into Bucks skin was addicting. And his large hands gripping onto his shoulders and chest and waist and oh god his neck!

Tommys hand slowly caressed down his torso and lower stomach and when it reached his waistband Buck sucked in an anticipatory breath. Tommys fingers gripped the elastic. He lifted his head to meet Bucks eyes.

“Is it okay to take these off?” His eyes were blown and his lips kiss-swollen and Buck thought it was the hottest he’d ever seen anybody ever look.

“Y-yes.” His voice came out throaty and strained. Tommy smiled and kissed him again before lifting himself off of Buck. He moved down the bed and Buck lifted up his hips to allow Tommy to slowly pull them down and off, throwing them somewhere across the room.

His eyes roamed over the large bulge in Bucks underwear before they moved back up to Bucks eyes. For the first time since this started he felt an element of self-consciousness. Tommy seemed to sense this and made his way back up towards Bucks face and kissed him gently. Bucks self-consciousness immediately melted away.

“Do you want me to take mine off?” Tommy whispered.

“Definitely.” Buck replied with a heavy breath. Within seconds Tommy’s jeans were thrown to the floor. He laid back down on his side, pulling Buck in to face him. They kissed deeply as their legs tangled together and hands continued exploring each other.

Buck was lightheaded. His brain was having trouble reconciling the array of physical sensations and feelings he was experiencing all at once. Especially the feeling of Tommy’s underwear covered cock pushing against his own. He couldn’t help the whine that escaped his mouth as Tommy jerked his hips towards his; could feel himself leaking at the touch as they rutted against each other.

“God, Evan.” Tommy moaned into Bucks mouth and oh god that was unbelievably hot! His finger tips slid into the back of Bucks underwear, grasping at his ass and pulling him even closer. Buck grunted in response.

Tommy’s lips grazed Buck’s ear as he whispered into it.

“What do you want, baby?” And Jesus that pet name almost broke him in two.

“To-touch me.” He couldn’t hide the pleading in tone. Tommy groaned at Bucks reply, kissing him again. His hands gently held Bucks face as he lifted himself back on top of him but not putting down his whole weight. Buck bucked his hips up in search for the friction he’d become addicted to.

“I got you, baby.”

There it was again: Baby. He’d been called pet names before but fuck this felt different. The juxtaposition between Tommys sheer size and masculinity and the softness of his words was wondrous.

Tommy continued kissing Buck beautifully whilst letting his hands slowly travel down Bucks body and his hand dipped inside the fabric of his boxers.

The moment Buck felt Tommy’s warm hand gently caress his throbbing length he couldn’t hold in his response. “Fuck!” He felt Tommy smile against his lips. His thumb lightly caressed the slit collecting Bucks pre-come and Buck’s body vibrated at the feel. Tommy lifted his face up from Bucks a few inches to watch him as he slid his hand back down Bucks cock, then slowly up again; squeezing just the right amount to drive Buck almost to insanity.

Buck began panting and grasping onto any part of Tommy he could reach in a fruitless attempt to steady himself. Tommy kept eye contact with him while he worked his cock faster and Buck wasn’t sure which was turning him on more.

Eventually Buck involuntarily scrunched his eyes shut as his head threw itself back onto the pillow. “Oh.. g-god..fu-Tommy, I.. it’s.. fuck!” He was babbling; unable to form a coherent sentence. Every synapse, every vein, every inch of his skin was on fire.

“You’re doing so good, baby.” Tommy said throaty and low.

“Fuck!” His hips bucked up into Tommys hand faster, chasing the edge of the cliff he was desperate to fall over.

On the next up stroke Tommys hand left Buck and for a moment he felt an overwhelming disappointment at the lack of touch. He lifted his head up to see why Tommy had stopped only to see him setting free his own cock. Buck sharply inhaled at the sight of his flushed and swollen dick, and desperately wanted to wrap his fingers around it. Before he got the chance however Tommy took him by surprise by taking them both in his hand, moaning loudly at the first slide of his hand.

Buck was certain that his heart was mere seconds from giving out as Tommys quickly caught up to the rhythm he had going before.

“Holy shit!” Buck cried out and yanked Tommys head down to kiss him. This one was unbelievably filthy; Buck having absolutely no composure left. “Oh god..” he pulled apart trying desperately to breathe.

“Evan..” Tommy moaned and the second it hit Bucks ears he was done for.

“Shit! Shit..shit.. ah.. fuck!” Sparks behind his eyelids exploded into a kaleidoscope of colour and every muscle in his body tensed as he came harder than he had ever done. In the middle of it shooting all over his chest, he felt Tommy’s body shaking and tensing before he shoved his lips hard into Buck’s, kissing him as he realised his own load.

“Fuck, Evan!” He moaned into Bucks mouth as their collective orgasms slowly petered out. He shoved his face into the crook of Bucks neck as they both tried to catch their breath.

Eventually their breathing slowed and Tommy lifted his head back to look at him. Bucks face was a mixture of blissed out and mesmerised.

“Are you okay?” Tommy asked softly. He raised his hand and gently rearranged an errant curl that had fallen onto Bucks forehead. It was such a simple act of care but after the overwhelming feelings, both physical and emotional, it was enough to push Buck over the edge and his eyes quickly welled up with a tear escaping and running down his temple towards the pillow.

Tommys face morphed into concern. “Hey, what’s wrong? Was that too much?” He lifted himself from Buck and laid on his side, resting on his elbow, looking down at Buck.

“N-no..” Buck replied, his voice wrecked “it’s not.. I..” His breath hitched as he tried to keep more emotion at bay “that was.. new. And.. and a lot. I-I just..” He blew out a breath to try to calm himself. “It’s just a little over-overwhelming, that’s all.” Tommy continued looking at him with concern.

Bucks lifted a still shaking hand to Tommy’s face to reassure him. “I’m okay.” Tommy put his hand on top of his and Buck leaned up and placed a long and delicate kiss to his lips. He gently leant back, with Tommys mouth following him. Their lips moved slowly and softly; no heat or tongue involved—just two people relishing the soft moment.

“We should clean up.” Tommy said after a few minutes. Buck shifted to get up and Tommy put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. “No—wait here.” He walked over to the bathroom and wetted a towel and returned, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Is it okay if I wipe you down?” He asked. Buck simply nodded having lost the ability to speak at the care that Tommy was showing him. He’d never been with anybody who so consistently checked in with him when he was with somebody long term, let alone a someone he’d only spent a few hours with.

Tommy finished cleaning Buck then pulled his boxers back up, fondly tapping his hip as a little flourish at the end of the job. He threw the towel back into the bathroom and laid back down on the bed, lifting his arm up. “C’mere.” He said and Buck didn’t hesitate to slide his body over and rested his head on Tommy’s chest.

It was different being the one to cuddle into someone’s chest—usually he was the one with his arm around his partner. But as new as it was, it felt good; calming. He couldn’t help but swirl circles into Tommys chest hair either his finger; the novelty of sleeping with someone that had it had not left him yet.

Tommys hand was lightly running through Bucks curls and he couldn’t help but let his eyes flutter closed at the feel. He sighed contentedly and Tommy placed a kiss onto the top of his head. He couldn’t help but smile into Tommys skin as his consciousness slowly slipped away.

*

Buck sighed heavily as he woke up. He kept his eyes closed as his brain came back online. He was warm and cosy wrapped up in the thick blanket. Slowly his eyes blinked open and at seeing the room he was in, the memories of the previous night came flooding back.

But Tommy wasn’t there. The room was empty. Buck laid back staring at the ceiling remembering what happened between them. A flush came over him as he remembered the feeling of Tommys lips on his; his hands all over his body, and his voice! That molasses-infused voice praising him was otherworldly.

What did all of this mean for him? He was never afraid of new sexual experiences—hell he relished them—and he wasn’t ashamed of the fact that this one involved a man. More than anything it was surprising. He knew that plenty of people discover things about their sexuality later in life, but could you really go 33 years without a single clue?

He tried searching through his memories to find some kind of clue that maybe there was something that stood out. There was that one time in Texas with a firefighter named TK; he’d thought Buck was asking him out, and Buck was quick to deny that that was what he was doing, but.. It’s no secret that he had a thing for competency, and he worked side by side with TK; saw just how good he was at his job. Maybe he was attracted to him?

Before he had a chance to think more, the door opened and Tommy walked in holding 2 cups of coffee; with a brown paper bag held in his teeth.

Bucks stomach swooped and flipped at seeing him. He walked over to Buck reaching out of the cups for him to take, before removing the bag from his mouth.

“You hungry?” He said, placing his own coffee on the nightstand and sat on the edge of the bed by Bucks hips.

“You-you brought me breakfast?” Buck asked in surprise. Tommy smiled and Buck felt his heart rate increase.

“What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t?” Tommy said it so plainly; so as a matter of fact as though not doing it wasn’t even an option.

“Th-thanks.”

Tommy tentatively leaned down and pressed his lips to Bucks. Just a quick chaste kiss, but one that Buck pressed into. Tommy smiled again as he released Bucks lips and sat back up. Buck took a sip of the coffee and hummed pleasantly.

“I didn’t know how you take it, so I took a guess.”

“Good guess.” Buck told him happily.

“I figured your coffee would resemble you: strong bodied and super sweet.” Buck couldn’t hide the blush that spread across his cheeks and smiled back at him.

“I take it the snow has let up?” He asked trying to change the subject away from Tommy trying to actually kill him with compliments.

“Yeah, a little. Enough that I could get my truck out to get food. Still no power though. But the local radio said half the towns power is out.”

“Shit, really? I should probably check on Maddie.”

Tommy pulled his phone from his pocket and held it out to him. “Here. If you wanna call her.”

“Oh, I don’t actually know her number.” Buck admitted. Tommy raised an eyebrow.

“You’re a first responder—you know how important it is to remember energy contact details.”

“Says the guy who created a fire hazard last night?” Buck teased back. Tommy opened his mouth to respond by quickly closed it. “Exactly.” Buck smiled.

“Well, I have Howie’s number anyway if you want to call him. You said he was here, right?”

“Uh, yeah. Thanks.” He took the phone and pulled up Chim’s number.

“Tommy? Long time no-“

“Uh, actually it’s Buck.”

“Buck? What.. why do you have Tommy’s phone?“

“Because I’m with him.” Buck informed him.

“You’re with-wait, wait, wait—did you go back home?!”

“No, uh, he’s here in Hershey.”

“Tommy’s here in Hershey?” Chim repeated.

“Yes,”

“Why the hell is Tommy in Hershey?”

“It’s doesn’t matter, Chim. Look, I just wanted to check in on you, my sister and Jee with the blackout.”

“We’re fine. Well, aside from your sister freaking out about not being able to contact you. She’s really having a hard time, Buck.”

Buck sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I know and I’m sorry I scared her—I just needed to get away from them.”

“Hey, I get it—I’ve witnessed enough of Philip and Margaret’s antics, but you really should have talked to her.”

“I couldn’t, Chim.” His began to raise his voice. “She was the one who convinced me to come. And I know she didn’t know what they’d be like, and it’s not her fault, and i know it’s irrational, okay, but-but i needed to get away from her, too, to cool off.”

Tommy put his hand on Bucks leg and gave him a gentle reassuring squeeze. Immediately Buck anger began to dissipate as he looked at Tommy’s soft, reassuring expression.

He kept eye contact with Tommy as he spoke into the phone. “Chim, I have to go. Tell Maddie I’ll be back later and we’ll talk, okay?”

“Okay, but-“

Buck ended the call, threw the phone onto the nightstand and leaned forward, grabbing Tommy at the back of the neck to pull him in for a searing kiss.

Tommy willingly leant into it and held onto Bucks face; his thumb gently grazing his cheek. The kiss quickly slowed down into a soft and deep one. Buck was—god how did he not know it could feel like this? Tommys lips and tongue were perfect. He could do this forever.

But that begged the question: what now? Tommy was here in Hershey to sell the motel—who knows how long that will take. And when he’s back in L.A would he want to see Buck again? Buck couldn’t pretend for a moment even to himself that he didn’t want to see Tommy again. He’d some managed to slide himself into the space between Bucks organs and it filled him with warmth and excitement.

He gently released the kiss and rested his forehead against Tommy’s. They both just breathed each other in with closed eyes.

“Can I ask you something?” Buck asked quietly.

“Anything.” Tommy replied piling back to look at him. That smile was killing Buck from the inside out.

“What happens now? I-I mean.. obviously I have to go back to L.A in a few days and you.. you’re here and-and I don’t.. I don’t want to not see you.” He looked down, embarrassed at the confession. Tommy tilted his chin back up with two fingers.

“I don’t know what happens next. I don’t know how long it’s going to take to sell this place. I don’t expect this; expect you. But I don’t want to not see you either.”

Bucks felt every atom in his body shift and vibrate and he could stop the grin.

***

He was quiet on the journey to the airport, during check in, waiting to board and the first half of the flight. Eventually Maddie approached the subject.

“You okay?”

“Do you believe in love at first sight?” He asked.

“Um, no. But, I do believe that some people come into your life that you’re feel an immediate connection with.” She looked at Chimney who was sat across the aisle in the middle row playing with Jee-Yun. “Wait, have you met someone.”

“Tommy.” He said.

“Tommy the-wow!”

“What, wow?” Buck questioned looking at her.

“No, not wow. I mean like.. wow.. I didn’t think that’s where your interest would lie.”

“I didn’t either.” He said. “I love women—I’ve always loved women.”

“How long have you been leaning in the other direction?” She asked.

“I haven’t; not specifically. I mean, sure I’ll check out a hot guys ass, but that’s normal.” He argued.

“It’s not abnormal.”

“But Tommy.. I dunno, he’s so confident, he’s interesting; he has a cleft..” A feeling of disappointment came over him that he didn’t kiss Tommy’s cleft when he had the chance.

“And you think you’re in love with him?” she asked.

“I.. I don’t know. Ive never.. I’ve never felt like this, Maddie. It’s like.. the way he looks at me I feel like-calm, you know? Being with him made me feel like all the bad shit that has ever happened to me didn’t matter. I have this feeling in my stomach like he’s been carved into it. I know, I know I sound like an idiot..” he sat back in his seat, sighing.

He did sound like an idiot—he’d known the man a few days—how the hell could he be in love with him?! If it even is love.. maybe it’s just infatuation.

“Buck, you’ve been through a lot on your life—more than most. And all I want for you—all I’ve ever wanted for you is to be happy. Does Tommy make you happy?”

“I mean.. yeah. But, we barely know each other. What if he comes back to L.A—if he ever comes back—and it’s not what I want it to be?”

“I can’t tell you if it’ll work out, and maybe it won’t. But maybe it will. Maybe it’ll be the best decision you ever make. After Doug I was terrified of taking a chance with Chim. But i knew there was something between us and I took that chance and now we’re married, with a beautiful daughter and I couldn’t imagine my life with anybody else.”

“I’m glad you’re happy, Maddie. I’ve always wanted that for you too, you know.”

“I know. Look, the question you have to ask yourself is: Is Tommy worth the risk?”

Buck relaxed into his seat and stared out of the plane window at the clouds below him, contemplating Maddies question.

*

After collecting his Jeep from Maddies house he made his way through town to his apartment. He pulled his bag out of the trunk and heavily made his way into the building, thinking about this last conversation with Tommy.

Buck walked into the motel foyer solemnly. This was the last time for a potentially long while that he would be able to see Tommy. They’d only met 3 days ago and yet he’d somehow rooted himself inside Bucks consciousness.

“Hey you.” Tommy greeted walking out from the back room.

“Hey.” He said trying to force a smile.

“You heading home?” Tommy asked coming closer and sliding hands around Bucks waist. Buck naturally let his arms rest around Tommys shoulders.

Buck nodded. “They’re in car waiting for me.”

“Oh, well don’t let me keep you.” He moved to release Buck who held on tighter.

“What if I wanted you to keep me?” There was a small smirk to his mouth. Tommy gripped him tighter and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.

“Hmm, now that is tempting..”

Buck took him in another kiss; this one deeper and open mouthed. As their lips and tongues met Bucks mind went blank to everything—Tommy being all he could focus on. He gripped Tommys body tighter and shoved his head into the crook of his neck. Tommy hand came up to stroke the hair on the back of his head.

“I-I can’t believe I have to leave you.” He mumbled into Tommys neck.

“I hate it, too, baby.” He replied and Bucks insides turned to goo again at the pet name. He would stand like this forever if he could but the car horn that blasted from outside. They pulled apart a few inches and Tommy lightly held Bucks face as he kissed him in the softest way; one Buck had never been in the receiving end before. He rested his head against Bucks.

“We’ll see each other again soon, I promise.” He whispered.

“How do you know that?”

“Because how could anybody let someone like you go?”

Buck had to use everything inside of him to not burst into tears at hearing those words. He thrust himself forwards subjecting Tommy to a crushing hug.

“Oomph” Tommy chuckled.

After a few more hugs and not nearly enough kissing, Buck reluctantly left Tommy.

He left the elevator and walked along the corridor towards his apartment. As he turned the corner he stopped dead in his tracks. His bag fell to the ground from his hands, his throat dried up, his heart throbbed in his chest and tears threatened to escape his eyes.

Leaning against his door, with those blue eyes, and that smile that created those beautiful lines around his face, was Tommy.

“Hey, sweetheart.” he simply said. The tears came from Buck as he hurtled forward and crashed his lips into Tommy’s. Somehow having Tommy here now made him feel more at home.

“What are you.. how did you.. I can’t believe.” Buck has so many questions and tries to ask them in between kisses.

“Perks of being a pilot.” He answered. Buck pulled his head back and looked at him.

“You-you flew all the way here?”

“It was the quickest way to get to you.” And oh my god if he wasn’t in love with Tommy already, he would be soon if he kept saying things like that.

“What about the motel?”

“Well..” Tommy said in between kissed to Bucks temple and cheek. “I don’t actually have to keep it open while looking for a buyer. Plus, I fucking hate running a motel.”

Buck couldn’t help but laugh.

“So, are you going to invite me in, or..?” He asked running his hands along Bucks shoulders.

“Oh.” Buck said, a little embarrassed he’d forgotten they were still standing in the corridor. “Of course.” He picked up his bag and unlocked the door letting Tommy in first. Tommy walked through the kitchen looking around at his surroundings as Buck closed and locked the door.

He stood for a moment just looking at Tommy. He still didn’t know if what he was feeling was love, but wherever it was, he was going to welcome it.

Risk it.

Tommy turned around to look at Buck the other side of the kitchen.

“C’mere.”

[pennythemechpilot]

Who needs therapy when you can just read a boat load of hdg stories and get an affini inside your head for free.

How did it get there, you ask? Well it's something called a haustoric implant and ...

[real-total-drama-takes]

What if Cody had REDDIT😂😂😂

AITA for building my crush's face?

Asshole

u/throwawaymeister OP

I (17M) am currently in a gameshow. The other day my crush 'Jen' (17F) was eliminated.

Today we had to build something from a bunch of materials but we weren't told what to build. Since my team was doing NOTHING I decided to build Jen's face as a cute way of remembering her and also it's an awesome act of romance.

Anyway it turns out we were meant to build a boat and the rest of my team are super pissed about it because the other team HAS built a boat. So guys, AITA?

↑ 6.2k ↓

u/trustinspa

INFO: Are they way ahead?

↑ 67 ↓

u/throwawaymeister OP

yeah, so we've got to go. We need to build something to sail, something we can row.

↑ 3 ↓

↳u/trustinspa

does it need to be a boat?

↑ 12 ↓

↳u/throwawaymeister OP

Not necessarily, as long as it stays. afloat.

↑ 1 ↓

u/guysweats

WHY DID YOU BUILD JEN'S FACE???

↑ -3 ↓

u/JenMasterson

YTA. Based on OP's replies it's clear 'Jen' doesn't like OP and he's being reeeally creepy. I hope your stalker leaves you alone. She needs therapy but kindly, so do you.

EDIT: GUYS. I'M NOT THE JEN OP IS TALKING ABOUT.

↑ 8.6k ↓

||see 86 replies...

u/HeyJude16

INFO: Is the other team's boat ready to sail?

↑ 540 ↓

u/throwawaymeister OP

Almost, they're just hammering in the final nail. They really did this fast, I think they're gonna be back in first class.

↑ -17 ↓

↳u/HeyJude16

um. First class? Of what? Why?

↑ ↓

↳u/throwawaymeister OP

BECAUSE WE BUILT JEN'S FACE!!

↑ -1.8k ↓

u/SierraFan2007

If it's not clear OP is Cody from Total Drama. I only heard back from my friend Sierra (she's competing in the new season she got on! Please support her when the season starts on cable) the other day as they won't let her use social media but she won a challenge letting her talk to us and omg she doesn't see how TOXIC OP/c*dy is. The cast vote people off and he votes for her EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. AND WHEN THEY'RE VOTED OFF THEY'RE THROWN OFF A PLANE 30,000 FEET HIGH IN THE AIR. AND SHE'S BEEN DOING SO MUCH FOR HIM AND SHE DOESN'T SEE HOW MEAN HE IS. So he WANTS HER TO FALL OUT OF A PLANE??? Also do you never sing in challenges because you're always on Reddit or something GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!!!

YTA OP, Sierra deserves better and the official Cody fanclub hates you.

↑ 2.4k ↓

u/throwawaymeister OP

[deleted]

u/Iluvrealitytv

A fan dating a reality TV star? I don't see how that could work😂

↑ 2 ↓

Load more replies...

.

[gravityfallswaddles]

So I wrote all the codes i currently have ! !

(I'll update if i have more) that should work for the thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com

I'll also discover some more clickable like information on the site I'll put that in separate post tho🧍🏽‍♀️

Triangle( 'tri harder' )

Baby bill (picture of baby bill)

Dipper ( a letter in gallery)

Mabel ( stickers around the site )

Bill cipher ( Wikipedia of tringale)

Stanford ( his hand x ray)

Stanley ( if you spam it it give you info abt him by bill)

Old man mc bucket (a letter)

Waddles( adopt a pig website )

Sorry ( picture + note )

Mystery Shack ( take you to confused hill)

When will I die ( show a random age of "death" )

Skibidi ( says something abt gas)

Soos( a whole letter to him)

Love( a funny funny )

Imstillonyourmind ( show clip of Stanley and stanford on boat)

Season 1 ( it's says season -1 antigravity fall)

Season 2 ( it says season 1)

Season 3 ( says season 2)

Adastraperaspera ( notes by mabel)

Blanching ( take you to a video of how make Blanch

Clone (give u a picture of Dipper clone)

T.J.ECKLEburg (gives you to not type the name ever aging)

Help me (it gives you video of bill and an axlotle)

Fuck (give u image to wash ur mouth)

Journal 3 ( says that journal is for him)

Journal 2 ( says that Journal is for you)

Journal 1 ( says that Journal is for fun)

Wendy(note)

Death ( life's goth cousin)

Wellwellwell being ( shows bill cipher well being)

Robbie (give u messages)

Weird (mc bucket kiddnap)

Vallis cineris ( bill family?)

Pines ( give a text of good family tree)

The book of bill ( give u text abt to hide it)

Card ( gives you a card of bill)

Hectoring (give you a music abt bill)

Mystery (give you '?')

Gravity falls ( give you "never heard of it")

Alex (give you his iconic shirt)

Disney (give you a text for censor protection)

Rat (give you "thurbursts number")

Universe ("holograms")

Portable (give you "portable exe. Working")

Cipher (bring u to a site abt illuminati)

Illregular (give you picture if bill cipher in prison)

Giffany( u need click many firm to get her and u and file saying "never leaving you" )

Mason ( gives you a letter)

Meow ( leads you to tiktok video of piano cat)

Tad strange (give you my love of my life)

Pacifica ( a letter)

Skeleton ( says 'the one the sword")

Hologram("universe")

Life(give you loading death now)

Horror(gives you an imagine of "always graden")

Curse WITTEBANe(gives you bill board)

Who are you (asks you same question)

Riddle ( give u a quiz game)

Cursed (give you images of to stop drawing tringales)

Nacho ( uh name explains ifself)

Reality ( give text saying "it's illustion")

XGQRTHX( give you text " where do tri angels come from")

Divorce (give you an image of "o' stanleys")

Mountain don't (give you text saying how old it is)

Pinata (title explain itself)

Conspiracy(give you video abt the timer)

ABUELita(gives you a video about hot sexy top 6 vacuums 🥰)

Love ya bro(imagine w a screact messge)

Cray cray(send you site to Wikipedia abt metal health)

MULtilevel mark(ask you a question)

I see ( tell you is seeing is a believe)

CRYPtogram codex(give u font)

Goodnight Sally (give u picture of shirt)

EUClydia( says " dimension not found")

Dippy fresh( show an image like old cartoon that has the designof dippy fresh idk how describe it )

Tantrum ( a text that I was too lazy to read)

Monster( send you to a 1976 puppet show web)

Virus( a fake virus )

Unreality ( give "how be immoral" )

Fuckalex ( put you in into a therapy site)

Byegold ( says bye back )

29121239168518 ( ask you who zimtrix)

One eyed king ( video of hypnotised you to deal with bill)

[thescriptorfireflyy]

He just needs a hug

YOUR GONNA LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND SAY LUCIFER IS THE BAD GUY? NUH-UH HE'S THE MOST ADORABLE-EST ADORABLE GUY

HE JUST NEEDS A HUG. And boat-loads of therapy.

[steddieas-shegoes]

you belong in a boat out at sea

for @corrodedcoffinfest popup event prompt 'sloth'

rated e | 1313 words | no cw | tags: gareth and di established relationship, masturbation, vaginal fingering, gareth does his favorite thing in the world: eats his wife out

You guys. If you know me at all, you know how much I fucking LOVE Tuesday’s Gone With the Wind. You may also know how much I love Gareth, and especially in this fic and all fics within this universe. I also super love his wife in this universe, Di, who is maybe my dream wife also. I have never wanted to be a third for a fictional couple more than these two. Di is the OC of all time, brought to you by @thisapplepielife herself.

I got permission from her to post this because ultimately this is based on those two within the Tuesday's universe. It can certainly be enjoyed without knowing anything about that universe, but it's just them. I am so happy she let me "play in her sandbox" as she likes to say. I hope I've done both of them justice!

😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

He’s not moving from this spot all day.

“I’m not moving from this spot today,” Gareth groans as he pulls the blanket over his head.

He’s in a hammock on a dock of the private home he’s renting for their tenth anniversary and Di’s standing in the doorway watching him. He can’t see her but he knows she’s smiling. She hasn’t stopped smiling since they got here.

“Might be hard to enjoy the water from there,” she’s definitely smirking. He can picture it. He smiles to himself because he knows she’s gonna make him move from this spot.

“I can enjoy the water tomorrow,” he says anyway, because he likes pushing her buttons just a little, just enough for her to push back.

“Might be hard to enjoy me.”

Gareth opens his eyes and shoves the blanket off his head. He can feel his hair sprouting off in every direction, looking ridiculous.

Di is standing next to the hammock with a hand on her hip, her other hand playing with the hem of the beach coverup she bought at the airport when they landed. He must’ve missed when she snuck off to change.

“I can enjoy you anywhere.”

Which is sweet, but probably not completely true. He’s a little restricted in a hammock, even though he’d be willing to give it his best go. He’s not sure what the weight limit is on this thing, actually, so maybe he should-

“Enjoy me in the hot tub, then.”

He wants to be lazy, he wants to take a load off after a long flight. The longest he’s taken since- well. Since. He desperately wants to eat out his wife, make her come in every private space they have here. But he really wants to stay in this hammock for a while.

“You’re not getting up, are you?” She asks, but she doesn’t sound upset, just amused.

She knows him. She’s had a lot of time to know him.

“I can get up,” he says, not moving.

“I didn’t ask if you can, I asked if you are,” she’s laughing now, and it’s sweet and loving, even though she’s teasing. That’s one of the best things about her; She can keep him on his toes while keeping him grounded.

“I am.” He pauses for dramatic effect, something he probably got from Eddie at some point over the last two decades. “When I have to.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

And she will. She does.

She’s waited for him before, for longer than he deserved. She’s waited for him at doctor’s appointments and physical therapy and regular therapy. She’ll wait for him to be lazy now. This is nothing compared to the waiting she’s done.

But Gareth’s thinking about what she’s doing while she’s waiting.

Di likes to get herself going, more than any other woman Gareth’s ever been with. She almost likes it more than when he does it for her. He doesn’t complain. Watching her touch herself, arch her back, get herself wet, it’s all perfect. And she loves when he watches, when he’s touching his own dick while she’s stretching herself open on three fingers.

She’s probably doing that now, alone in the hot tub, the heat making her glisten with sweat while she teases her entrance, circles her clit. She likes to take her time, she likes when he takes his time. She’s a romantic at heart, even when they get hot and heavy.

She likes to bask in the feelings. Gareth does too. How can he not when she looks and sounds the way she does?

He decides turning his head won’t take too much energy. He can see the hot tub from the hammock. He sees her head leaned back, eyes closed, lips parted. One arm is resting along the side of the hot tub.

Her cheeks are flushed pink and he knows exactly where her other hand is.

Today was supposed to be a lazy day, he’d already said so. She knew he’d be tired when they got here.

She’s an evil temptress sent from the depths of hell specifically for him.

Or she’s an angel sent from heaven and he did something out of this world to deserve her.

She lets out a moan and he decides being lazy could just mean she sits on his face while he licks her pussy for an hour. As long as he’s horizontal, he would actually prefer that activity.

He gets up slowly, carefully. He didn’t think about how hard it would be to get out of the damn hammock.

When he looks back at her, her eyes are open and she’s smiling lazily at him. She knows exactly what she’s doing and he loves her for it. He can’t even complain about his ruined plans when she’s looking at him like this, like she’s desperate for his touch instead of her own.

She’s damn good at making herself feel good, but Gareth’s better.

He takes his time getting into the hot tub. The last thing he needs is to fall and hit his head. Steve would never let him hear the end of it.

“Decided to join me?” She asks breathlessly. He realizes quickly she’s close and he doesn’t know how she got there so fast.

“Here to take over,” he says as he closes in, gets in her space so he can feel every muscle jump when she moves her fingers deeper inside her. “Even though I’m supposed to be lazy today. Sleep in a hammock. Sleep on the couch. Sleep on the bed.”

He pulls her hand away as he speaks and replaces her fingers with his own. She throws her head back and laughs around a groan as he curls his fingers and starts rubbing his thumb against her clit. She’s not gonna last long.

“You can sleep later.”

She’s moving her hips in circles, making sure he gets to the right parts of her, as if he doesn’t know where they are. As if he hasn’t had every inch of her body memorized for so long it’s a part of him.

She’s clenching around his fingers before he can respond, smiling at the sky as he watches her climax.

“Was it that good or did you work yourself up too much?” He asks without pulling his fingers out. He’s not done yet, and he knows she isn’t either.

“Both. Always both, babe.”

She pushes his hand away and stands. He whines pitifully because he just got out of the hammock to be here. He wasn’t ready to get out of here yet.

She doesn’t go far though.

She sits on the wider edge of the hot tub, spreads her legs, and pulls her bathing suit bottoms to the side. Gareth licks his lips.

He could spend days just doing this, worshiping her while the sun kisses their skin, making her feel good, loving her the way he was always meant to. He’ll never stop loving her in the way she deserves.

He leans in and licks a teasing stripe against her cunt, smiling when she yelps. She’s still sensitive from her last orgasm. It won’t take much to get her there again.

He wouldn’t care if it took forever.

His tongue may get tired eventually, but for now, he’s willing to work her over until they’re both numb and shaking. Nothing makes him happier than tasting her, feeling her pussy flutter around his tongue when he finally breaches her entrance, watching her chest move faster.

He’s was supposed to be lazy today. They both were supposed to. It was almost a direct order from Steve and Eddie.

But if he were lazy, he wouldn’t be able to feel Di tremble through a second orgasm from his tongue. If he were lazy, he wouldn’t have her riding his cock on the lounge chair.

He’d rather not be lazy today.

[callmebrycelee]

9-1-1 REACTION

This reaction is for the season 7, first episode “Ships Ahoy” which originally aired March 14, 2024. This episode was written by series creator Tim Minear and directed by John J. Gray who is also an executive producer on American Horror Story and the 9-1-1 spinoff, 9-1-1: Lone Star. So, without further ado, here’s my reaction to the episode. 

We begin the episode with a therapy session. Our resident therapist, Frank (played by Eddie McGee, the first winner of Big Brother USA) is counseling Athena Grant. We are told this scene takes place two months prior to Athena and Bobby leaving for their soon-to-be ill-fated cruise. 

Athena, having seen the Poseidon Adventure in her youth, is rightfully nervous about being on a boat in the middle of the ocean for several days. What I found funny about this scene is how Athena goes off on this tangent about Shelley Winters being nominated for the Best Supporting Actress Academy Award for her performance in The Poseidon Adventure. When Eddie asks if she won, Athena gives a deadpan look at the camera and says 'no'. This is obviously an allusion to real-life actress Angela Bassett losing out to Jamie Lee Curtis at the 95th Academy Awards ceremony in 2023.  

Frank asks if there's any other reason for her anxiety but in true Athena fashion she deflects. He recommends she pack some extra Dramamine. We then get a scene with Athena and Bobby trapped in a room rapidly filling with water. The two of them exchange I love yous and then we get our title card.

In our next scene, we see Maddie in the middle of a call involving a pilot (played by soap opera actor Mark Lawson) with the Air National Guard. He tells Maddie that he was on a training exercise until he lost communication and engine control with his F-16. He ejected himself from the aircraft and is now hanging on the side of a smokestack. The real emergency is that his plane is about to crash. Maddie's supervisor Sue Blevins (played by Debra Christofferson) and fellow operator Josh Russo (played by Bryan Safi) join Maddie at her desk. Sue asks if there's a way for them to track the aircraft's whereabouts and Josh explains that once a pilot ejects themselves, the plane thinks it's in enemy territory and stops transmitting. 

We move from the dispatch center over to a small home where we see an older couple Edna and Abe (played by Rusty Schwimmer and James Eckhouse, respectively) at their home. I immediately recognized Abe's actor as the dad from the original Beverly Hills 90210. Edna passive-aggressively vacuums while Abe is watching television which leads to an argument. Their bickering, however, is cut short the moment our pilot's F-16 crashes through the couple's living room. 

The 118 arrive at the scene with Hen acting as captain in Bobby's absence. Edna appears to be fine, but Abe is pinned to his recliner by the plane. Hen suggests cutting him out of the chair, but Abe is against the idea. He says he likes the chair more than he likes his wife. Rude! Eddie notices a dummy bomb attached to the plane so Hen gets on the phone with the pilot who tells her it could explode. Maddie tells Hen the Air National Guard will arrive within an hour, but Hen says they cannot wait because Abe has a possible spinal injury. The pilot offers to talk Hen and Eddie through defusing the bomb but due to possible head trauma he is unable to give them adequate instruction. Hen tells Eddie to cut the red wire but before he has a chance, Chimney pulls the lever on the side of the recliner which causes the seat to move back. This gives them plenty of room to remove Abe from the wreckage. Abe is loaded into the ambulance, and he hears Edna calling after him. He tells Chimney to tell her he died.

Back at the house, Chimney talks to Hen about Abe and Edna and wonders how they got to the place where they are now. He asks Hen if she thinks him and Maddie will ever get to that point and Hen assures him that he and Maddie are nothing like Abe and Edna. She then tells him that getting to where Abe and Edna are now only happens if you let it. 

And now to my favorite scene of the episode. We see a shirtless Eddie changing into his civilian clothes very reminiscent of when we first saw him back in season two. Let me just say, I've always been more into Oliver Stark than Ryan Guzman, but I must say, the latter is looking really, really good. Anywho, Buck asks his bestie if he wants to drive go-karts in the desert, but Eddie tells him that he has other plans. Christopher, our sweet baby boy, is a teenager now and has a date and Eddie and his girlfriend Marisol (played by Edy Ganem) are going to supervise. We then learn that Buck is single again which is such a bummer because I really liked Natalia (played by Annelise Cepero) from last season. Buck mentions that it was depressing dating someone whose entire career is centered around death and since he's recovered from his own near-death experience, he wants to be surrounded by life, not death. I think this is a valid reason for why Buck and Natalia are no longer together, but I am disappointed we won't get to see Buck date a beautiful woman of color who had body-ody-ody. Oh well! I hope they find someone nice for our dear Evan Buckley, but it is nice to see him in a good place.

Later on, Chimney talks with Maddie about Abe and Edna. He tells her that the couple allowed themselves to become alienated from each other and he doesn't want that to happen to the two of them. He proposes that they start dating again. Maddie thinks he means other people, but Chimney tells her that he wants them to start dating again. Maddie flashes her ring and tells her that they're past the dating age. This right here is why I think a lot of modern-day couples don't work out. Dating is not just something you do until you settle down with a person. The best marriages I've seen involve both people dating each other even while married. A friend of mine just lost her husband of 50-plus years and up until his death, they still went out together and on vacation together. I do like Chimney's proposal to not just have a honeymoon phase but a honeymoon life but, like most things with him, I think he goes a bit too far. 

We next see Bobby and Athena dancing with each other during their first night at sea. I must say, Angela Bassett and Peter Krause look amazing, and I feel like it's my job remind everyone that Angela Bassett is 65 years old and looking like she's fresh in her 40s. Peter has some gray at his temples, but he is only getting better looking with time. When the song ends, they take a seat and Bobby goes over all the things he wants to do while they are on their cruise. Athena tells Bobby he can choose what they want to do but Bobby wants her input. 

They are interrupted by everyone's favorite couple - Norman and Lola Peterson (played by Daniel Roebuck and Romy Rosemont). The last time we saw Norman and Lola was back in season two. Just in case viewers forgot, Bobby and Athena remind us that Lola climbed onto a billboard over the freeway in just her bathrobe to get Norman's attention. Apparently it worked because the two of them are still together. Athena is shocked to hear that Lola only spent 60 days in jail and I can't say that I blame her. I mean, this is the same woman who waved a loaded gun at the first responders on the scene and even fired off a round. That coupled with indecent exposure and disturbing the peace should've garnered her a longer sentence, but I digress. 

The couple credits Athena and Bobby with saving their marriage and tell them that they've been honeymooning for 106 weeks on different cruise ships. Norman and Lola invite Bobby and Athena to go bicycling with them in Mazatlán, but they decline. Back in their room, Athena tells Bobby she found the Petersons to be extremely exhausting. She is also annoyed that she has to put up with them for the next two weeks. Bobby tells her they can spend all their time in the room, but Athena looks hesitant. We flashback to her therapy session with Frank, and we see Athena voice her concerns about her marriage. So much of her relationship with Bobby involves earthquakes and tsunamis and blackouts and escaped rapists and solving murders. When it's just the two of them, alone and without all of the madness, she worries if there's anything left. I love this as a storyline for Bobby and Athena. They are an older couple and with May in college they are also empty nesters. It's very common for couples who are shifting into a new phase of life to reevaluate their relationship.

Back on the ship, the Petersons stop by their room and ask if they want to join them on a moonlight stroll on the top desk. Bobby starts to decline but Athena accepts their invitation. Bobby is confused by this, but Athena tells him that even though she doesn't like or trust Lola and Norman, there's no need for her to be rude about it. Athena is clearly avoiding being alone with Bobby and he's starting to sense this. I honestly feel bad for both of them.

The following day, Chimney relays his plan to Hen at the firehouse while Maddie talks to Josh at the dispatch center. Chimney has created a spreadsheet with all of their scheduled dates. Josh isn't exactly sold on the idea of Chimney and Maddie micromanaging their love life and Hen tells Chimney that she doesn't think this plan of his is going to last that long. Like I said, I think Chimney wanting to date Maddie is a good idea but any time you introduce a spreadsheet into your relationship, nothing good can come of it.

We then get a scene where Eddie tells Buck about Christopher's date. We learn that our sweet little boy is also a two-timing player-player. Eddie says that he went through Christopher's phone and saw that he's having conversations with multiple girls. Buck is shocked by this news. Eddie says he doesn't know where Christopher would've gotten this behavior since he himself married the first person he ever dated. He suggests that Buck talk with Christopher since he has a history of being a fuck boy. 

Back on the ship, Bobby is trying to get Athena to go on a hike with him, but she tells him he has a migraine. When the Petersons arrive, Athena suggests that Bobby go with them while she stays on the ship. Bobby declines and instead goes to an AA meeting aboard the ship. Regarding this scene, I thought it was a nice touch to show Athena looking at the two young teenagers who are being romantic with each other. The girl is Black and the guy is white – much like Athena and Bobby. 

In our next scene, we meet Nick (played by Chris Gartin) and Sofia (played by Kathryn Boswell). The two start off drinking champagne in the jacuzzi and right before the sexytimes begin, they both throw their champagne flutes. All I kept thinking about during this scene was the broken glass next to the jacuzzi. Right as things are really heating up (pun intended), Nick experiences a cardiac emergency. The 118 arrive at the scene and find Nick unconscious and stuck inside of Sofia. I could not stop laughing when Hen starts giving the medical explanation as to why Sofia (ahem) couldn't remove herself from her boyfriend. The scene only gets funnier when Eddie suggests that Sofia visualize herself as Jell-o. He coaches her through the process, and she is able to (ahem) loosen up enough so she could untether herself from Nick's nether region. Afterwards, Sofia blames herself for the entire situation. She tells Chimney that she pushed too hard to spice things up because she was worried they were becoming too complacent in their relationship. This is yet another sign for Chimney. One last thing about this scene, I love how Buck teases Eddie by saying: "I don't think I've ever seen a man turn a woman off with such skill." Eddie responds by saying: "It's a gift." I love their friendship so much and how they can tease each other like this without either of them getting offended. 

Later on, presumably that evening, Buck broaches the topic of not being a fuck boy with Christopher. He tells Christopher that he doesn't want him to get a reputation for being a 'not so good guy'. Christopher asks if it matters or not if he's a nice guy and when Buck asks him what he means, he says that they'll only end up leaving anyway. Buck asks him why he would say something like that, and Christopher tells him that his mom left him. Buck is confused by this and tells Christopher that his mother didn't leave - she died. Christopher counters by saying his mother left him prior to her passing away. "We loved her, and she left anyway." My heart broke hearing this and so did Eddie's as he stood outside of Christopher's room listening in on the conversation. I love that the show has made Christopher a main character this season because there's so much to explore with him now that he's getting older. I thought this scene with Christopher and Buck was so good and a reminder that Buck is very much a member of this family unit. 

Bobby wakes up the next morning and finds Athena gone from their cabin. He finds her having breakfast on the deck and asks her about her migraine. Athena, of course, has forgotten about the lie she told the day before but quickly says she is better. Bobby He accuses her of sneaking out of their room and tells her that since they got on the boat, they've been like two ships passing in the night. He asks her what's going on and why she's avoiding being alone with him. Instead of answering Bobby, Athena notices Norman and waves him over. She asks him about Mazatlán, and he says that everything went well. Athena asks him about Lola and Norman says that she is resting because she got too much sun. He adds that they might not see her any time soon. Athena then notices some scratches on the side of Norman’s neck. He tells her he got the scratches when he fell off his bike. Athena, of course, finds this very suspicious and tells Bobby as much after Norman leaves. Bobby isn't really interested in her suspicions and accuses her of using the Petersons as a buffer. He tells Athena that if she didn't want to come on the cruise, she should have told him so. Athena assures him she wants to be there with him and apologizes. Bobby apologizes for pushing her to do things and suggests they go sit by the pool. Athena is on board with this idea and excuses herself to go get changed into her bathing suit.

Athena heads to her room but takes a detail at the Petersons' room. She sees a maid exiting the room and asks her about Lola. The maid tells her that the room is empty, and the bed hadn't been slept in. Athena notices a bloody towel and the maid tells her that bloody towels are apparently normal. Meanwhile, Bobby gets tired of waiting and heads back to his room. He finds Athena Facetiming with Hen telling her about the Petersons and her belief that Norman killed his wife. Bobby texts Chimney and tells him not to encourage Athena's suspicions. Chimney shows the text to Hen and Hen pretends that she has lost reception and ends the call. Bobby accuses Athena again of avoiding him, but Athena insists she's not and is only concerned about the dearly departed Lola Peterson. Bobby is frustrated and drags Athena out of their room to prove to her that she is wrong about Norman killing his wife.

Bobby and Athena go to the cruise director, Julian (played by Rick Cosnett), and tell him they are concerned that Lola Peterson did not get back on the ship after visiting Mazatlán. Julian checks his computer and sees that Lola scanned back in along with her husband the day before. He then tells them that she is currently in the dining hall. Thinking that everything is okay, Bobby asks Athena if she would like to address the actual death on the ship - their marriage. Yikes! Bobby then sees Norman standing at the buffet with a woman who is definitely not Lola Peterson.

Later that evening, Eddie goes to talk to Christopher. When he enters Christopher's room, he notices the picture of Shannon lying face down on his desk. Eddie tells Christopher that he found something of his while he was going through some of his things. He gives Christopher a letter from Shannon, but Christopher doesn't read it. Eddie leaves the room and Christopher opens the letter. As he reads Shannon's letter, the ghost of Shannon (played by Devin Kelley) is standing beside him. I loved this scene. The fandom was absolutely wretched towards Shannon back in season two and I believe it's because of the fandom's treatment of the character that she was killed off. A lot of hatred towards Shannon is based on her abandoning Eddie and Christopher when the latter was young. I understand why people would have a problem with a mother leaving her kid but let's not forget that Eddie signed up for an additional tour of duty fully knowing his wife was struggling back at home. In my opinion, both Eddie and Shannon have failed Christopher, but I don't think that makes them bad parents. Apologies for my rant but I hate how the fans of this show treat the women that Buck and Eddie date simply because they are angry that Buck and Eddie are not a couple. Anywho, when Eddie comes back to Christopher's room he sees the picture of Shannon has been sat back up. What a beautiful scene.

Meanwhile, Chimney tells Maddie that to forget about the spreadsheet and instead of focusing on dating, they should focus on their upcoming wedding. Maddie asks him what led to him changing his mind and he tells her that he's decided they're already doing things right and he's no longer worried about them turning into Edna and Abe. He then takes her outside and shows her his latest purchase - a jacuzzi. 

Our final scene of the episode takes us back to the ship where Athena and Bobby have enlisted the help of the ship's captain - Captain Ochoa (played by Mercedes Colon). Captain Ochoa tells them that she is turning the ship around to head back to Los Angeles due to an approaching storm. Athena says she will have detectives waiting to make the arrest. Bobby tells her not to jump the gun and says she needs to talk to Norman first. Speaking of Norman, he arrives, and Athena starts grilling him about Lola's whereabouts. Norman says that Lola's resting, but Bobby tells him they know he's lying. Athena accuses him of sneaking his side piece onto the ship. Norman says he loves his wife and finally comes clean about what happened. He says that while he and Lola were in Mazatlán, the two of them were accosted by a gang demanding that he hand over a dongle. Athena asks him what a dongle is and Bobby explains that it is used to store bitcoins. Norman insists he doesn't have a dongle and says when he told the men that, they took Lola. Captain Ochoa tells Bobby and Athena that there's been rumors about a retired couple using the cruise line industry as a front for international smuggling. Athena tells Norman that he and Lola fit the profile. Norman tells her that he's a retired dry cleaner. He also tells Athena and Bobby that he was told that if he didn't turn over the dongle at the next port, Lola will be killed.

The episode ends with the same woman we saw Norman earlier, entering an equipment room and using an axe to destroy all the communication devices. We then see several armed men and women in tactical gear ride up to the ship on jet skis and climb aboard. They demand that all the passengers get down on the ground. The last thing we hear is gunshots.   

Now that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you do a season opener! I am thoroughly pleased with this episode and if I were to rank all the first episodes of each season, this one would definitely make it into the top three. Maybe even the top two. One thing this show excels at is it’s disaster episodes. We usually get one, sometimes two, a season and they rarely, if ever, disappoint. In regard to the shift from FOX to ABC, I could definitely tell a difference this episode. Maybe it’s just me but this episode felt wittier and snappier. Each of the main characters were on point and I loved supporting characters like Josh, Frank and Shannon featured as well. The return of Norman and Lola Peterson was both a surprise and a delight. As a fan of diehard fan of Glee, I love how actors from that show and other Ryan Murphy projects will sometimes pop up on 9-1-1.

This episode leaves me super excited about what’s to come. I’ve been told that this season opener is three parts so next week I’m sure we’ll learn more about what’s really going on aboard Athena and Bobby’s cruise ship. If I were to speculate, I think we’re going to see the two of them teaming up like they have done many times before, only I think Athena will walk away with a better appreciation of her husband. Athena and Bobby are my favorite couple on the show, and I think they are perfect for each other. It is good to see some conflict in their relationship but I’m hoping that conflict will be resolved soon. I can’t imagine these two not being together. 

As for Maddie and Chimney, I’m excited to see these two plan their upcoming wedding. Hopefully their wedding won’t be mired in tragedy like TK and Carlos’ over on Lone Star. I do think that we’ll see some conflict between these two. This will be Maddie’s second marriage and considering how her first marriage ended, I think we’re going to see her struggle with walking down that aisle again. It also makes me curious if we will see Jason again, maybe in a flashback or in a nightmare sequence. Something else to consider is how Chimney will handle things as well. Chimney’s parents split up when he was young, and his father abandoned he and his mom to go back to Korea. Perhaps Chimney has some unresolved trauma regarding this that we’ll see explored in further episodes this season.

Lastly, we have Eddie and Buck. Seven seasons later, there’s still a portion of the 9-1-1 fandom who are demanding these two get together romantically. I don’t see Eddie and Buck as romantic. I don’t think the show has indicated there’s any romantic feelings between the two of them. What I do see is two straight male characters who are close friends who support and care about each other. It frustrates me that there are others who go out of their way to harass the actors and the writers about making their ‘ship’ happen on this show. I actually think the title of this episode is a clever allusion to the whole Buddie fandom and how bat shit insane they’ve been since Eddie was first introduced on the show. I believe the title ‘Abandon Ships’ is the creators’ way of saying: No, we will not be going down that road. What we will show you is a wholesome, non-toxic relationship between two men. Anything beyond that will remain in the plethora of fanfics found on the innerwebs. And yes, I love reading Buddie fanfics but as a viewer, as a queer viewer, I do not need or want Evan Buckley and Eddie Diaz getting romantically involved. It’s okay to have ships or to want to see your two favorite characters get together but please, let’s stop asking Oliver Stark and Ryan Guzman questions about it and getting upset when they don’t say what you want them to say. It’s weird! Stop it!

The last thing I will say about this episode is that it’s so good to have 9-1-1 back. I have truly missed this show and I’m happy to have something to look forward to watching each week. I hope next episode we get to focus on Buck and Hen since we didn’t get to see much with their lives this episode. I look forward to seeing what happens with Athena and Bobby and the other passengers on the cruise ship. Until next time …

[glazedtrash721]

Beware, this is a LONG post!!

TW: a lil' scopophobia perhaps

So, you know how there's a boat load of Welcome Home AUs floating around?

Well, now there's one more!! (And even more given some time!)

Let me introduce you to my first Welcome Home AU:

Children's Hospital AU!!

In this AU, all of our lovely neighbors are staff at the town's local Children's Hospital, which is officially titled the "Healthy Home Children's Hospital", or HHCH for short! This AU doesn't really have any spooky or funky elements to it, as I was pretty desperate for ideas that haven't already been done when I thought of it. Although, this AU does serve its purpose in being very cute and wholesome, and I'm sure that it could make for some fun content!

Characters and more info can be found under the break!

By the way, these drawings are not to scale! I just made them so that they would fit on the page :/

Anyways...

Let us first start with the Doctors!

Doctors Darling, Joyful, and Frankly have bested too many years of medical school and are now here to take care of their young patients! Both Dr. Wally Darling and Dr. Julie Joyful are physicians, and they can be found buzzing around the hospital, tending to whoever needs it! Dr. Darling, with his calm and cool energy, is more often assigned to older and more anxious kids. Dr. Joyful, on the other hand, is often tasked with the care of younger children and babies with her more energetic and sweet personality. Dr. Frank Frankly is the surgeon of the group, and he excells with his steady hands and his thirst for knowledge and for solving problems! Dispite his grumpy appearance, the children find him a joy to see when he checks up on them before and after surgery!

Next, we have the Nurses!

Nurses Sally, Barnaby, and Howdy help make up the back bone of the hospital, and they are always on their toes helping those in need! Nurse Sally can typically be found in the ER, where her quick feet and her sunny disposition are a must have, though she can be found bouncing all over the hospital! Nurse Barnaby never fails to put a smile on a patient's face with his funny jokes, and he is a dream when someone needs a distraction from a needle or anything else that may be frightening them! Nurse Howdy is extremely handy with his four hands and arms, making him an amazing multi-tasker! He is also a master of hugs, and he is wonderful with calming down particularly upset patients. He and Barnaby are also often called on the occurrence where a patient (or even parent!) needs restrained, thanks to their size and even tempers!

Lastly, we have those with more miscellaneous jobs!

Mr. Eddie and Ms. Poppy also have important jobs that help the hospital and its patients! Eddie is the HHCH's trusty mailman! He takes gifts and letters from the mail room and gift shop and delivers them to their recipients. As he knows the hospital's layout like the back of his hand, he also often accompanys visitors and volunteers, such as those who bring therapy dogs and such! He also takes extra care to dress up on holidays and other occasions! Ms. Poppy is an Emotional Consultant, and she is there to help patients and their families make difficult decisions, usually regarding treatment. Still the nervous bird that she is, she still tries to put on a brave face and a warm smile to those who need a little extra guidance or reassurance.

They're all colorless now, but I'll probably add that soon lol.

Also, I haven't designed Home yet, but I imagine he'd be the Headmaster of the hospital or something similar? I may give him a design later on.

Anyways, that concludes my first Welcome Home AU! Feel free to ask for any specific info that you want me to elaborate on, and feel free to use these silly dudes in your own fan content, given that it's not sussy (NSFW in the sexual way), and that a lil' credit is given! Otherwise, go ham!

[hankwritten]

The Woeful Tale of Tavish 2

Day 2: FREE DAY (Boots N Bombs)

A plume of water shoots into the air like the great mushroom cloud of a hydrogen bomb. The thing is probably releasing hydrogen into the air, tearing water molecules to bits and doing all sorts of other mini reactions, but Demo doesn’t have the brain space he usually reserves for keeping track of chemical combustion; he is too full of overwhelming relief for that.

“And tell Davy Jones I’m coming for him next!” he bellows across the loch.

The corpse of the great plesiosaur is already mostly below the waterline. The day is warm and sunny. A group of tourists are screaming in horror. Or maybe they’re screaming because the resounding shockwaves are threatening to tip their boat over, Demo doesn’t care much, not when satisfaction blooms in his chest with each small wave that reaches his shoes.

“I did it,” he says with pride. “I finally did it.”

“That you did private!” Soldier says. “A job well done. Isn’t it great that all your childhood trauma could be tied up neatly with one explosive act of violence?”

“It is! So glad it’s that easy, and with no lingering complications.”

“And people always say to go to therapy.”

“Load of bollox that.”

“Mwuuaag.”

“…Mwuaag?” Demo asks. “What does mwuaag mean?”

“What?” Soldier scratches his helmet. “I didn’t say that.”

“Mwuuaag…” the mournful lament comes again.

The pair of men glance around, noticing nothing out of place but themselves, washed up chunks of dinosaur, and the several crates of spare explosives they’d brought along for the job. But the damp air contains crying still, and the pair of mercenaries follow it around the bend to find the source.

An amphibious creature about the size of a punch buggy lifts its head at their approach. It blinks for a second with large, cow-like eyes. Then cheered by their appearance, it says, “Oooaaan!” and slaps its flippers excitedly in the (slightly pinkish) shallows.

“…Fuck,” Demo says.

“Tavish look!” Soldier says. “It’s a baby nessie.”

“I can see it’s a baby nessie Jane.”

“You probably just blew up her mother,” Soldier hums thoughtfully.

“Aye. I gathered. And don’t go calling it ‘she’!” Demo warns. “I know you, and that’s always your first step in getting attached. We’re not taking on responsibility for this thing.”

Soldier, in a bout of speed he only exhibits when rockets or pathetic animals are involved, is already up and snuggling the monster.

“Tavish,” Soldier says, aghast. “We killed her mother! We are now duty-bound to take her in. Just like in Bambi!”

“They didn’t- ach,” Demo says. “No, no way. Don’t want that thing anywhere near me.”

“Mwuuaag?” The baby plesiosaur loops its long neck over the Soldier, craning so it can properly tilt its head at Demo.

“You heard me!”

“But why?” Soldier asks.

“I tell you why, because that-” Demo points to the several-ton infant, “-is the spawn of that-” he points to the origin of the explosion, where there is now only a capsized tourist dinghy. “My mortal enemy! The creature that caused me years of torment!”

“I thought Merasmus was your mortal enemy.”

“Well,” Demo says. “He is now. But only because he’s immortal and hard to get rid of. But before him it was that thing, the one who killed my bloody parents!”

The creature, noting Demo’s finger, scoots closer to him and noses his hand for treats. Demo scoffs, and folds his arms.

Soldier thinks long and hard about this, looking at the little nessie, then the big, dead Nessie out in the loch.

Slowly, he says, “Okay. I respect your wishes, and will make sure you absolutely do not come in contact with her for the foreseeable future.”

“…Why did you say it like that.”

“No reason, let’s go, I love you.”

🦕

Demo knows there’s something amiss as soon as he hears cooing coming from the cargo hold. It’s a decent sized plane, but that doesn’t mean it's big enough to keep secrets from each other. He walks in to find Soldier murmuring to himself and slipping bananas under a large, conspicuously shaped sheet.

“Jane!” Demo barks. “I told you to leave that bloody thing back in Scotland.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Soldier yelps, whipping the bunch of bananas behind his back.

The effect is somewhat spoiled as a green, scaly muzzle pokes itself from beneath the sheet and nibbles at them.

“What about no more infant predators don’t you understand?” Demo demanded. “A puma was bad enough but this? Not to mention it’s a deadly beast with a personal grudge against me.”

“She doesn’t have anything personal against you, you just have something personal against her. It’s not her fault her mother…um. Was so nefarious she tricked you into killing your adoptive parents?”

Demo is not in the mood to go over this again. He glares.

“I mean just look at her Tavish.” Soldier rips off the sheet. The plesiosaur flaps its flippers in delight, impressed by the magic trick of suddenly making everything not-dark anymore. “How can you say no to that face?”

“No,” Demo tells the pair of beaming expressions.

“Mwuuaag?”

But the puppy-eyes looks so damn heartbroken on its canine face that Demo can’t help but feel his heartstrings twist like a puppet. He dismisses the notion immediately, reminding himself of reality.

“Yes, mwuuag,” he says. “I mean, Christ Jane, look at the size of it! What were you even planning on doing with it once we touched down?”

“Well, I found out she likes bananas, so that’s food settled.” Soldier scratches his chin. “And uh, she could live in the pool. I promise I’ll clean it every day!”

“This isn’t a debate, Jane. That…that thing…I don’t want to be near it. This is supposed to be over, don’t you understand?” Demo feels his throat clench. “This trip was…was supposed to fix everything.”

“…Tav. I don’t think everything is going to be fixed even if she does go back.”

Demo clenches his hands, unclenches them. Does that a few times. There are no windows in the cargo hold, but he glances to the side and feels the rickety hum of the plane around.

“She’s also,” Soldier says, poignantly, “a newly made orphan due to an explosion related event. Do you really want to send her back to that ridiculous, un-American island.”

Demo drops his arms to his sides. “…Ach….no, I guess I don’t really.”

“Oooaaan!”

“That doesn’t mean I’m going to be happy about this!” He points an accusing finger at the creature. “I’m just going along with this until we can find a good spot to release you. Because that’s where wild animals go, aye?”

This last part he directs to Soldier, who deflates somewhat but doesn’t protest.

“Okay,” he says. “As long as we find some place close enough to visit every now and then…”

Demo sighs, already feeling like he’s given an inch and is about to be shoved back a whole mile off a cliff.

🦕

“Don’t worry Tavish 2, we’ll find you a nice lake soon enough.”

“What?” Demo says, glancing over his shoulder.

“Not you!” Soldier replies. “I was talking to Tavish 2.”

Soldier is scratching the monster under the chin. They’ve forcefully commandeered one of the motel’s food trolleys in order to cart her around, but even still her size is squashing the axles to a near standstill, and the view of her takes up the entire hall. The sight fills Demo with irritation.

“You named the nessie Tavish?” he grouses.

“It’s a good name! Besides, I thought it might help you warm up to her. One of those, uh, positive association things.”

“Right,” Demo huffs under his breath. “Because the one thing I’m famous for is liking myself.” Louder, he adds, “Let’s just get a move on, aye?”

They’ve been trying to get down to the pool for ten minutes now, Tavish 2’s trolley not making that any easier. Tavish had wanted to leave her in the hotel room, but Jane wasn’t having any of it.

“…Why don’t I just go on ahead, eh?” he says after watching Soldier bang into the same jutting radiator for the eleventh time. “Save us some good spots.”

In reality, Demo just wants to escape. When he finally makes it down to the motel’s ground floor, he doesn’t even head to the pool. He instead slips into the hot tub, throwing his towel on a random folding chair to hide his trail, and tries to let the stresses of the past few days melt away.

The hot chlorine smell alights his sinuses, but it's cleansing in its own way. The bubbles tickle up beneath him, and he leans his neck back over the side, trying to forget everything. The stupid dinosaur, the bloody loch, everything that led him up to this point.

It’s over. He can relax.

He’s almost dozed off in the comforting embrace of the hot tub when a voice next to his ear asks, “Oooaaan?”

“Fuck!” he yelps, splashing away from the scaly snout now inches from his face.

Tavish 2 brays and slaps her flippers against the concrete. It feels like she’s laughing at him.

“Yeah yeah, yuck it up,” Tavish growls. “Where’s Jane? You didn’t eat him did you?”

The nessie only moos again. Soldier doesn’t make an appearance.

Demo is deciding whether to try and get the thing to go away on his own or to locate Soldier and make him do it for him, when the decision is taken out of his hands. The creature begins slipping into the hot tub with him, easing in like a Great Dane if a Great Dane was the size of a subcompact.

“Oi! No you bloody don’t!”

Demo tries to leap out of the way, but it’s no use. Within seconds, the nessie is partially on his lap, causing hot tub water to slosh over the sides. (He’s lucky it’s only partially; if she were any more on him he’d probably be crushed to death.)

“I mean it! …You!” He frowns. “I’m not calling you that ridiculous name.”

She cocks her head for a moment, then submerges it completely.

“I know you can still hear me down there.”

One second. Then two. Then, suddenly she begins to blow bubbles out of her nose.

Demo can’t help it. He laughs. He laughs and he laughs and suddenly this horrible, stressful week seems so funny he might just cry. So he does.

That’s how Soldier finds him several minutes later, weeping openly and holding the head of Tavish 2 in his arms. She’s wiggling, but although she could probably rip her beachball-sized noggin away with ease, she doesn’t—instead she keeps it there, mooing consolingly, and letting Demo cry.

“Are you okay?” Soldier asks, crouching down by the hot tub’s edge. “Is she bothering you again?”

“No she’s…” Demo sniffs. “She’s fine. I’m fine.”

“Oooaaan,” Tavish 2 agrees.

Soldier scratches his helmet, still worn with his swim trunks. “Alright. If you say so.”

With that, he manages to find the last few inches of unoccupied hot tub and squeeze in, and the three begin to properly enjoy their vacation for the first time.

🦕

They spend the last few days of furlough driving around various tourist traps in New Mexico. Soldier buys a Polaroid camera. They take photos of the three of them in Roswell, at Fox Cave, in front of the World’s Largest Pistachio Nut. Soldier sifts through them fondly whenever he’s not driving.

“Guess we’re nearing the end of the road, huh?” Soldier says wistfully. “It was a good trip! We did our nation proud! But I should pick out someplace we can re-home Tavish 2.”

“…Right,” Demo says, not taking his eye off the road.

“Don’t worry!” Soldier assures. “I promise not to make it a whole production. You were right. She belongs in the wild.”

“Right. I’m right. ‘Bout that.” Demo says it all with a straight face, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

However, when they finally pull over the gravel lake Soldier has selected and begin un-bungeeing Tavish 2 from the roof of the car, Demo breaks down.

“We- we can’t send her away now, can we?” he asks. “Not after we brought her all this way! It’s not fair…”

“There there private,” Soldier says, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. “We can still come and visit any time.”

Tavish 2, now landbound, noses Demo’s ear.

“It won’t be the same,” he admits.

“It has to be this way, private,” Soldier says. “She will be much happier here, and she’ll become the apex predator of the gravel sea. Plus, I ran out of bananas a few days ago and I think she’s going to resort to human flesh if we’re not careful.”

“…I know,” Demo finally admits. He turns. “It’s been. Good knowing you lass. But Jane’s right. Time for you to head for grey-er pastures.”

Tavish 2 doesn’t move.

“Oi! I said it’s time to get a move on! Don’t roll over my emotional revelation by jes’ standing there!”

Tavish 2 bays, and sniffs them both for treats.

“I’ve seen this in movies,” Soldier says. “You have to toss things at her until she goes away.”

Frustrated, Demo digs out a novelty bag of pistachios from the trunk, and hurls it at the plesiosaur. It lands pathetically a foot away with a dusty thump.

Demo falls to his knees and wails, “I can’t toss, Jane! You know I’m shite at tossing! That’s while I’m always holding the bloody caber.”

Soldier sits next to him.

“It’s okay Tavish. You can be embarrassingly bad at tossing. I love you anyway.”

“It’s just,” Demo cries into his hands. “She’s such a noble and majestic creature and I’ve never bonded with anything like this before and-”

He lifts his head out of his hands.

“Where the bloody hell did she go?”

“Hm? Oh, she saw something yellow in the gravel pit and went to go check it out. But if you want to keep with your emotional catharsis, I’ll be here, listening.”

“Ach, no, it’s not the same.” Demo stands, and dusts off his pants. “S’pose we should be heading back to our bases then. But you know the one thing about this trip?”

“What?” Soldier asks as they head back to the car.

“No one’s going to believe a word of it.”

[kolurize]

Watch the World Burn (by Falling In Reverse) but I match the lyrics to characters from Once Upon a Witchlight DnD campaign

Frost Gricko Kremy Gideon Torbek

Yeah, I got voices in my head again, tread carefully

And I don't medicate, it helps me temporarily

I got problems, I got issues, yeah, apparently

Trauma that I'm burying, I think I need some therapy

I battle depression, I'm back with a message

I'm asking the question that if you hate me, why you acting obsessive?

I'm past the point of no return, fuck being passive-aggressive

I'll brandish a weapon, teach all you motherfuckers a lesson

I actually battle my demons and shadows

They swim in the deep, and they creep in the shallows, I'm lost

I gotta admit that I'm living the life that I've always wanted, but it comes at a cost

They're licking their chops, they're fixing to rip me apart, I'm swimming with sharks

I'm lifting the bar, I'm lifting it into the stars

I'm like a shot of adrenaline mixed with some Ritalin

You started a battle, but bitch, I'ma finish it

You think you can stop me? Not even a little bit

Nowadays, everybody's so sensitive

Taking my words and you pick it apart

Tripping on nothing, just get in the car

Gripping and ripping, I'm sticking the mark

I'm tipping the ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-charts

'Cause I got enemies trying to get rid of me

Evil tendencies are fucking with me mentally

I got people that don't like me in the industry

I can feel your energy, you are not a friend to me

'Cause I have been to places that you never wanna go, yeah

I got dirt on people, but they act like I don't know, yeah

I could do some damage but I'll never rock the boat

All it takes is one post, watch 'em fall like dominoes

You'll never get rid of me, too many mini-mes ripping my imagery

You know my history, it ain't a mystery

I put every enemy outta they misery

Somebody, send me some positive energy

About to go Darth, about to go Disney

Into the darkness, into infinity and

Shut you motherfuckers up, you listening?

Stacking every little pretty penny that I'm getting

And I'm never giving in to anybody, always winning

Never kidding when I die, I'm taking everybody with me

You're never gonna get me 'cause you'll never see it simply

I'm a motherfucking god, you're a light yawn, I'm a time bomb

And the vibes wrong, is this mic on?

I'm killing the syllables with a loaded refillable

I'm a lyrical, typical super villain, I'm venomous

And I'm never gonna stop until they put me on top of the list

I can't control the monster any longer that's inside

All:

The pain and sorrow left us hollow

No tomorrows hard to swallow

Death is calling so appalling

Tightrope walking, now I'm falling down

Like missiles falling from the sky

Come and save us

The pain and sorrow left us hollow

Here today, but gone tomorrow

The pain inside is the fuel that drives

This flesh and bone through blood-red skies

The death defying, hypnotizing

One day you're gonna figure out that

Everything they taught you was a lie

Watch the world burn

Ooh

The fear is what keeps you alive

Break the fucking chains, take back your life

The fear is what keeps you insane

Break the fucking chains, take away the pain

[bog-witch-blair]

Discovered some outtakes from the Narrator and here are a few of my favorites

"Insight read this, bitch"

"Welcome to fantasy spelling kids, think you know how to pronounce it? I think not!"

"Who did this word with FOUR apostrophes in it? That is some fantasy bullshit right there."

"Oh aren't you a big scary player character! What level are you now? Is it two? *gasp* You are so scary! You are so scary :D!"

Just the entire part where shes talking about "Groovy dancing eye spiders"

"The idea of a boat beckoning makes me really happy. Just like, 'Come aboard sailor ;)." It curls it's rudder at you enticingly. 'C'mon get on my deck love'"

"Nobody ever talks to me. I'm only the fucking dungeon master, its fine!"

"I just want a snack and someone to ask me to roll a dice."

"C'mon ladies get your tadpoles wriggling"

"You may know me from such things as lying on the sofa eating cheese for several months."

"It's the scent of Avernus. New by Calvin Klein."

"If you fancy Astarion, you might want to consider therapy."

"He's so damaged, I must have him!"

"Haha you rolled badly"

"The world continues to turn as you read EVERYTHING!"

"Me? I can't steal from anybody. I'm the GM, I have no hands!"

"It gets more atmospheric when they fuck up. We will reward you with some ASMR but you are fucked now."

"You can't go scrumping for cod Josh!"

"Apples? What are those? I'm gonna shoot a potato out of the sky! As nature intended."

"uuuhh where were we? Who am I? What day is it? Why do my arms hurt? This and other questions will never be answered."

"that could be the tagline for the ENTIRE game! Frantic. Bi. Energy."

"I'm a bard! I can fuck my way through any problem!"

"I seduce the door. Done it! I've got splinters places you DO NOT wanna know about but I'm through."

"We live in horny jail, you can't send us there! We've got the keys!"

"Go on, do it, jump in a well, see what happens."

"Make a wish. I wish i wasn't stuck in this well."

"Somebody studied Shakespeare and now its EVERY BODIES PROBLEM."

"Aww aren't they having a nice time. But you're gonna die. A LOT."

"I'm a professional I can say the word 'erected' without laughing. Once."

"Conceal your tadpoles gentlemen! We're entering combat!"

"Yay fish people! *fish people noises*"

"I have exceptionally moist ankles. Send Victorian text."

"Can I swallow that semicolon?"

"Gary tried to romance the town prostitute and started a war. Well done Gary!"

"He rolled poorly. He's lucky I don't rip his face off and melt it like Plasticine."

"Got a tadpole! Hello, slippery friend!"

"There we go! Read it like a grown up! Who isn't laughing at the word 'tug' or 'meat'."

"Like a sexy plaque. Get a load of the font on that."

"I am the problem and I am fully aware. But I've made the decision to inflict me on everyone else."

"Your call into the abyss is important to us. Please shout again."

"Who looted Shadowheart's box? C'mon, hands up! Astarion don't look away, I know it was you."

"Can we try that again, but move the comma to the other side of the but? *stifled laughter* You got it buddy."

"Dreamy interspersed with squirrels"

"Hallucinogenic delivery! Hi I've got a pizza for you! Also a Picasso face. try not to look too closely everything gonna start swirling."

"'He's coiled like a spring, hand inching towards his weapon.' *hysterical laughter* Oh fuck, ah shit. what, who wrote that? Oh god, that's just FILTH."

"Baldur's Gate: After Dark. It's a little bit sexy but you are gonna be covered in blood at the end."

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Reviews: ML Season 5 episode 13 Migration

Spoilers Below

-Starting out on the boat

-Marinette wants to talk to Luka. I can already hear the screeching from here

-Luka's got jokes

-Luka got a degree in psychology during the last few weeks cause he playing therapist

-Points to Marinette for being self aware.

-And there is the guitar strumming.

-Luka being like "Nah bitch, you gave me material to work with.”

- you know I wonder why I’m so hard on Luka sometimes…

-Oh right! I remember he knows their identities and blatantly lied about it.

-at the very least, at least Luka sees what we the audience see.

-Adrien and Marinette are adorable

-Adrien’s therapy session. (Seriously someone get this boy legit therapy. He has gone through so much.)

-someone PLEASE tell them to remove their shoes on the bed. It’s gross.

-Adrien’s main worry isn’t finding out the truth but worried it would make Marinette uncomfortable or hurt to do so. Damn that’s actually a fascinating contrast between their relationship with Marinette. Luka wanted the truth not caring what it was, while Adrien wants the truth but not the expense of Marinette. Fascinating

-Luka really said “Fuck the true selves narrative”

-JAGGED TOO! Seriously? Is he everyone’s therapist?! No wonder there are akuma everywhere! This Paris is actually a dystopia

-So Jagged is actually trying to be a better dad here, but knows he can’t stay cause him and anarke aren’t getting back together. Points for trying.

-Jagged and penny is sailing!

-Penny sounding like the only one with actual s*** to deal with but…

- PENNY TOO! Damn he should start charging. He’d make a boat load of cash (Hehehe)

-penny out here telling us she is in love with Jagged even though he is a disaster. Pfff problematic faves

-Can’t believe Luka figured out the 3 questions needed to be a successful therapist.

-not gonna lie. I was hoping Bob was next.

-Anarke YEETED HIM. I think she gave him a life preserver. That’s funny

-Luka really being ladynoir shipping trash

-Kitty section is mid. But Bob gonna be plottin

-Anarke being the only adult here. She is right.

-IT WAS A RUBBER DUCKY! That’s funny!

-okay, Luka being like “Mom…” and anarke saying she will stop throwing people overboard. HOW OFTEN DOES SHE DO THAT?!

-Bob roth pulling the “I was lying but now I’m honest” routine

-Luka…. You of all people shouldn’t trust him after silencer.

-They seriously signed it…

-These expressions will haunt my nightmares

-They really should have read the contracts. Like seriously. Anarke, YOU OF ALL PEOPLE could have read it.

-Bob roth came prepared to be yeeted that time. I gotta respect the play.

-Damn, that contract is Disney evil.

-Now there’s Luka looking visibly distraught. Now this is what I wanted from silencer

-Monarch out here loving the pain and suffering

-Silencer 2.0 let’s go!

-So Monarch Can’t read minds, but he can read emotions, picking up that Luka was trying to hide the fact he knew who ladybug and chat noir are! Oh damn!

-He smashed the guitar! Well karma’s a bitch Luka. You lost a guitar over it (but probably not cause miracle cure)

-How did Bob create duplicates so quickly?!

-Monarch really said he be settling today.

-I like the 70’s skeevy record producer look with gold. It works for Bobs villain form

-Rip guitar. I guess that’s 1 consequence of his actions.

-OH DAMN! Julrose confirmed!?

-oh… she loves her friends. Okay that’s just lesBaiting.

-HE YEETED HER INTO SPACE!

-Luka getting everyone to hide but having Marinette hide somewhere else. Marinette seemed sus of it but didn’t complain.

-Luka was Hinting hard there.

-Juleka!

-Screw you bob, Juleka’s music was low key heat.

-THE Rubber DUCKY! Also Bob is right. That Ducky mix tape slapped

-He put it with his golden records. Amazing

-Mood chat noir

-Pigeon record was not a hit

-Luka revealed that He knows ladybug’s Marinette to ladybug.

-Marinette didn’t get it right away.

-THERE IT IS

-and she blames herself.

-Oh look at that he doesn’t get in trouble for when he blatantly lied to her about seeing the identities last season. WHAT A FUCKING SHOCK! (Sarcasm)

-so he got caught to distract him. So in other words they gambled that he wouldn’t blab in his heart’s song immediately.

-Bob Really thought ladybug and chat noir would protect him?! That’s amusing

- And here we have Luka being ‘Noble’ by saying he has to leave. (At least Adrien found out he knew)

- Jagged quitting the Rockstar life to be with his son. Juleka is in charge of kitty section.

-Price of blatantly lying about knowing ladybug’s identities. ( One Guitar, and a world trip)

____________________________________________

4/10

If I ignored my bias probably 6/10.

I’m still mad Luka basically got off scot free. I was waiting for at least SOMEONE to yell at him. But no. We got nobody mad at him. He gets a hero sacrifice. And while this was Luka’s best season, he still has s*** to own up to. Aside from that the episode was entertaining but also kind of mid. Also I’m salty about the Julrose fake out.

That being said.

Bye blue boy.

[aelianated-star]

I saw your dysautonomia post. I've been diagnosed for over a year and known for longer but my doctor keeps refusing to prescribe me a wheelchair despite the fact I can't walk further than down the hall without one. They keep trying to send me to physical therapy (only for one body part at a time due to insurance despite also having chronic pain evenly in my whole body and experiencing post-exertional malaise even from light physical therapy). Other than just finding a new doc, which I've been working on, do you have any advice for how to get a doc to actually prescribe the mobility aids you need?

(I am lucky enough to have a decently fitted one that I cannot self propel but can be pushed in, but my partner also has POTS so that's rarely an option and only for short trips (which only because in her own words hers is "better managed" than mine currently). But I really do need probably a motorized one at this point and I know other disabled people often know how exactly to get through to a doc so even if I can't convince my current doc I can hopefully use any tips when I find a new one.)

I wish I had better advice, but I would definitely look for educated physicians who are familiar with dysautonomia and fiddle around with medications (Corlanor/Ivabravine and infusions are the only things that has even helped remotely with mine). I had the same issue with a lot of doctors and was gaslit about not having EDS until my neurologist, shortly after diagnosing me with 3 types of dysautonomia, also diagnosed me with EDS (it was glaringly obvious apparently. I’m extremely hypermobile, can dislocate things on command and experience daily dislocations/subluxations, history of heart issues that he now escalated to four regurgitating valves, stretchy, velvety skin, strophic scarring, gastroparesis, at the time pending MCAS diagnosis, etc). If you can, there are organizations that will loan out wheelchairs for relatively cheap or free for people who need them, the difficulty is just finding one that’s near you or will ship to you! Also, I would definitely recommend a lightweight, motorized wheelchair or a regular wheelchair with motorized attachments like a smart drive or motorized wheels. The weight is going to be a big factor, especially if your partner is also disabled/chronically ill and you guys need to be able to transfer it into the car. I’m kinda in the same boat right now where even in a normal lightweight wheelchair (without motorization), my heart rate will get up to 200 and I can’t push myself for more than a minute really. I’ve been stuck using my forearm crutches to get around everywhere, but since that doesn’t do anything for my heart rate or blood pressure, I’m limited to doing anything (albeit not very much) to extremely good days. I’ll link some cheaper models below, and please feel free to dm me for more advice, I’m always happy to help other people out 🩵

[chibipandaao3]

Win — Between Us and Hemp Rope thoughts part 3 (spoilers)

I mentioned it towards the end of my last post, but really wanted to get into Win as he’s written in the novel. Boun of course does a wonderful job (as does Prem), but I think if they’d been given more meat to chew on they’d of had such flushed out characters on screen.

Anyway - Win, self worth as it pertains to worthiness and expectations, self sabotage as a means of self preservation, and fear.

So a few things going in, we know from both the novel and the show that Win is the middle child, that he feels obligated to care for his brothers Waan and Wiew, that he dyed his hair, got his ears pierced, and got tattoos as a way to “stand out,” and that Team is his first love - or at least the first person he’s care enough about to feel genuine fear over losing.

We also know from the author that most of his previous relationships ended with the other person claiming that Win was “too good” for them.

In both versions it is very clear early on that Win is very attracted to Team - even if he doesn’t own up to it fully. And in both, Dean (ever the voice of reason?) explicitly tells Win to be honest with Team - because Win is nice and has a tendency to unintentionally cause people to think he’s being more than friendly.

In the novel this happens several times - with Dean and also with Waan and Wiew - ‘be careful you don’t make him feel special if you don’t mean it’ ‘people tend to feel special with you when you’re just being kind’ - and Win listens.

However, and this is what I think they tried and failed to do, is Win is okay with Team thinking he’s special. There’s this point after Win speaks with Waan where he basically thinks - it doesn’t matter if Team thinks he’s special [like the others have] because Team is special. So if he misunderstands it doesn’t matter.

AND Win on multiple occasions tried to label what he and Team have - even once being cut off as he tried to introduce Team as his “boyfriend”

Why does all this matter? As I alluded to in the beginning, Win has this expectation that he - by virtue of never getting to keep things - is unworthy of things. Team can’t be his forever, so he’s not going to fight too hard in fear of chasing Team away. He tries, with acknowledging that Team can think he’s special but not fighting to label what that means often, to set sabotage. And when Team cuts him off on the occasions when Win tries to label their relationship, it reaffirms all those fears.

So when Team says “I have something I need to tell you” before they leave for the swim trip - Win is stricken with the absolute fear that Team is going to say it’s over, even when it hasn’t begun yet.

(There are tears in that whole sequence like in the show. However, in the novel it’s because Team is calling out Win on never putting himself first and that if “being special” means Win suffers then Team doesn’t want to be special. There is no make out misunderstanding like in the show)

This insecurity Win has extends past them becoming official as well.

Win mentioned his intentions to get his Masters abroad - Team has a single moment of “what about us?!” And is immediately reassured by Win and going for from that, Team generally is secure in their relationship and alright with the idea of Win leaving.

Win is the one that panics - at one point fretting over Team’s swimming, sleep, eating, everything that could occur in his absence.

Anyway last bit of my brain before I work like a good adult…

Win is the less secure of the two. Team’s ‘problems’ come almost exclusively from his childhood trauma, and while real and painful - he (even before therapy) does a good job of being sturdy in his life. Yes, insomnia is a struggle. Yes, he has self doubt and a boat load of other insecurities - BUT he’s never been afraid to commit to people. To Pharm and Manaow - to Win - hell, he’s still committed to Ton a decade after the others death, and yes trauma but also because he loved his brother. Because he’s fulfilling a promise.

Win loves his brothers, yes. But with the exception of Dean - who he likely bonded with as he was developing this kind of insecurity - Win doesn’t latch on with the intention of committing. He’s scared to.

Team is the exception.

[searchingwardrobes]

Scarborough Fair: 7/?

I was shocked to discover that I last updated this at the end of October! I still love this story, though, so I hope you all will stick with me. Writing this chapter was great therapy for me, but in addition to that, I really enjoyed writing the dynamic of this quirky and unique little family. I also rather like how this chapter ends, if I do say so myself. It’s a nice bit of levity in what has so far been a dark story. 

You might want to go back and read Mary Margaret’s journal entry from chapter 6 (the part in italics) to refresh your memory about how the curse in this story works. I know it’s been a while! 

Summary: Seventeen-year-old Emma Swan has had a charmed life, despite being a foster child. She has a wonderful family who loves her, and the best friends in the world. The only thing that mars her idyllic existence is her birth mother: a homeless woman who mutters nonsensical rhymes and claims to be Snow White. One fateful night, however, Emma’s world is shattered. Perhaps her mother’s rhymes aren’t nonsense after all.

Rated: M for date rape, dubious consent, teen pregnancy, and sexy times (the good kind!)

Words: Over 3k in this chapter

Chapter One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six

Also on Ao3

Tagging:  (let me know if you wish to be removed or added):  @snowbellewells @teamhook @kmomof4 @jrob64 @xhookswenchx-reads-blog @thisonesatellite @welllpthisishappening @spartanguard @ohmakemeahercules @tiganasummertree @sparlecorn93 @sals86 @pirateprincessofpizza @xarandomdreamx @zaharadessert @huntressandlioness1 @jamif @undercaffinatednightmare @onceratheart18 @sparlecorn93 @sals86 @pirateprincessofpizza @xarandomdreamx @zaharadessert @huntressandlioness1​ @jonesfandomfanatic

Emma descended the stairs with the pregnancy test in the pocket of her jeans, one hand clutching her mother’s journal, and the other clasped firmly in Killian’s. If not for his presence beside her, she would have collapsed. 

It hadn’t taken them long to come to this decision. Their very unique family had come together through a series of crazy tragedies. Some would call them a series of coincidences; but to every family member under this roof, it felt like fate. If Emma was cursed to follow this path, she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she didn’t have to walk it alone. Elsa and Anna hadn’t been alone after their parents died in a boating accident - their Aunt had immediately taken them in, and they’d gained a third sister in the process. Killian hadn’t been alone when his father left and his mother died - a brother he had never met stepped up. Then Ingrid Arendelle and three little girls had knocked on Liam Jones’s front door with a platter of cookies to welcome him and his little boy to the neighborhood, and well - fate took over once again. 

As for Emma, what would have happened to her if Mary Margaret had never met Ingrid? This Dark One her mother wrote about in her journal couldn’t have anticipated Ingrid. Or Liam. Or Killian, Elsa, or Anna. Hiding this from them just wasn’t an option. Every time they faced difficulties, they were stronger together. 

Emma and Killian paused at the bottom of the stairs. Ingrid, Liam, and Anna were bustling about the kitchen. Anna was opening the boxes of pizza that had just been delivered, Liam was pulling paper plates from the cupboard, and Ingrid had just walked in the kitchen door after fetching sodas from the extra fridge in the garage. She kicked the door shut with one foot, her arms loaded down with soda cans. She froze, the laughter on her lips dying as she saw Emma and Killian standing there. 

“We need to have a family meeting,” Killian announced. 

All three of them looked from Killian, to Emma, then to their joined hands. Anna’s mouth opened, then snapped shut. Ingrid and Liam shared weighted glances. 

“Okay,” Ingrid agreed as she began setting the soda cans one by one on the kitchen counter. “Let’s grab our food and gather around the table.”

Killian looked at Emma and gave her an encouraging smile followed by a squeeze of his hand. Emma nodded nervously, then let go. She sat down at the kitchen table, hugging her mother’s journal to her chest. Everyone resumed dinner preparations, although their voices were softer and the laughter had floated away. Emma wasn’t hungry, but she tried to pick at the slice of pepperoni Ingrid set before her. 

“Well,” Ingrid announced, taking charge as always, “do we want to eat and then have the meeting, or talk while we eat?”

“I’d really rather get it over with,” Emma said softly.

Ingrid nodded. “Okay, then. Do we want to try and include Elsa in this?”

Emma wet her suddenly dry lips. She really just wanted to rip this off like a bandaid. “If she could, that would be nice, but I don’t want to wait.”

“Liam, see if you can get ahold of Elsa for a Zoom call.”

A series of texts were exchanged, Liam set up his laptop at Elsa’s usual seat around 

the table, and suddenly, there was her older sister, via the magic of technology. Thankfully, dinner time around Boston was lunch time in the North Sea, so Elsa was on a break from her intern responsibilities. She waved at Emma, her smile still holding that edge of concern as she asked how she was doing.

“In truth,” Emma confessed, “I’ve been better. Which is why I called a family meeting.”

“You both did, actually,” Liam clarified, giving his brother a weighted look. He glanced down to where Killian’s hand rested atop Emma’s on the table. 

Had he reached for her hand or had she reached for his? Emma wasn’t sure, but it felt right, as if it were the only way she could face this. 

Emma let out a long breath as she reached into her pocket. “There’s not really a way to ease into this conversation, so . . .”

She pulled out the pregnancy test and set it in the middle of the table. The reaction was immediate. Anna gasped, Liam made a strangled noise, and Ingrid pressed a hand to her mouth. Elsa’s confused voice came out distant and tinny from the computer screen. 

“What is that? I can’t see.”

Emma lifted the pregnancy test and held it right in front of the camera. 

“Oh . . . my,” Elsa breathed. 

“What the bloody hell have you done, Killian?” Liam suddenly burst out. 

“Me?” Killian shouted. 

“You mean you think it’s his?” Emma choked out. 

The other three female members of the family began shouting over each other in chastisement. Liam lifted both hands placatingly. 

“They come walking down here hand in hand, calling a family meeting, then she pulls out a pregnancy test? What was I supposed to think?”

Ingrid glared at her husband and smacked him in the shoulder with the back of her hand. “You’re supposed to think about Neal Cassidy and what he did to her just two months ago! Not to mention have more faith than that in your brother.”

Liam’s shoulders slumped. “Neal?” he whispered as he looked apologetically at Emma.

She nodded solemnly in reply. 

“So now we need to support Emma instead of flying off the handle,” Elsa proclaimed from across the ocean via Zoom.

Emma leaned towards the screen to address her sister. “Don’t be too hard on him. He looks pretty awful right now.”

“Well,” Ingrid announced, splaying both hands on the table, “you have options Emma. Tomorrow we can -”

Emma cut her off with a raised hand. “This is about more than an unplanned pregnancy.” She looked at Killian, pushing the slim volume with the tattered green cover towards him with her free hand. He never had let go of her other one. He squeezed her hand now and gave her a nod in understanding. 

“I found this the night of the prom in Mary Margaret’s things,” Killian explained. 

“It’s her journal,” Emma added, “and she wrote it for me.”

“Emma,” Ingrid breathed, reaching hesitantly across the table, and then drawing her hand back, “I had no idea . . .”

“I read it,” Emma continued, ignoring her foster mother, “and then I had Killian read it, and . . . well . . .”

“It explains some things,” Killian filled in for her. 

“Right. It explains things. I made Killian promise me something before he read it, and I’m going to ask you the same thing. Promise you won’t think this is crazy, or that I’m crazy.”

Any other parent would probably jump in at that point with an adamant denial that they would ever entertain such a thought. Emma’s foster parents, however, knew the gravity of what she was asking them. So did her sisters. Ingrid and Liam exchanged marital looks that spoke without words. Anna and Elsa, even through a computer screen, did their creepy sister telepathy. Then the four of them solemnly promised Emma that they would all have open minds. With that vow, Killian picked up the journal, opened it, and began to read it out loud.

He still didn’t let go of Emma’s hand. 

She refused to look at her family as he read aloud, afraid of what she might see in their expressions. There was an audible gasp from all four of them at Neal’s name, but other than that, it was eerily silent as Killian read. When he finished, he set the journal down on the table, and Emma finally raised her head. Ingrid’s brow was furrowed as if she were mentally reviewing every moment with Mary Margaret over the years. Liam stared at a point somewhere over Emma’s shoulder. Anna blinked and shook her head slightly in shock. Elsa massaged her brow with the slender fingers of both hands. The silence stretched. 

Anna, unsurprisingly, was the one who broke it. 

“That . . . actually explains a lot.”

“A curse then,” Elsa said, leaning closer to her screen, “so how do we help Emma break it?”

Liam banged both fists on the table. “I should have punched that kid when I had the chance.”

Ingrid rose, strode to the kitchen drawer, grabbed a pad of paper and a pen, then sat back down with pen poised over paper. “Repeat that riddle to me again, Killian.”

He read it again, and Ingrid scrawled furiously. Liam leaned over her shoulder. 

“I could do more research into the song,” he told everyone.

“And that art professor?” Ingrid asked, tapping the paper with the end of the pen, “What was her name? The one who did her dissertation on textiles?”

“Kate Freemont?”

“Yes, her! Maybe she could look into fabrics that would work for this first riddle.”

“How is that even possible?” Anna asked, leaning over her aunt’s list. “If you sew a shirt, doesn’t it have to have a seam? And how do you make it without a needle?”

“I can ask around here about the third riddle,” Elsa spoke up. “It seems it would be pretty hard to sow an acre on the shore before the tide comes in, but some of these scientists I’ve been working with have traveled the world. Maybe they know of a place where that would work?”

“Forget the tide,” Anna scoffed, “how do you sow an entire acre with only one kernel of corn?”

“The agriculture department!” Liam exclaimed. “I’ll ask around.”

Emma’s eyes welled up with tears as she watched her family roll up their sleeves and jump right in to solve the riddle. Not for one second did they scoff at her or turn away. Ingrid met her watery gaze, and her expression softened. She put down the pen and raised a hand to quiet the rest of the family. 

“Before we go on, there’s one solution we haven’t voiced.” She looked intently at Emma with eyes full of compassion. “The curse says that you have until your child is born to solve the riddle. If you terminate the pregnancy -”

“No!” Emma cried, placing a hand protectively to her abdomen. 

“Sweetheart,” Ingrid said gently, “you were raped. No one would fault you if -”

“I can’t,” Emma protested, shaking her head. “I can’t explain it, but my gut tells me things would be worse if I did that. I think this baby is the key to breaking this curse. If I did what you suggest, I have a feeling the madness would take me then, and my parents would be cursed forever.”

Ingrid nodded, blinking back tears. “Okay, then. Well, everyone, how do we go about finding a town that no one knows?”

Emma’s smile grew, and she felt herself relax in her chair as everyone’s voices overlapped one another. Except for Killian. He sat silently, her hand still in his, his thumb idly rubbing across her knuckles. It soothed her. 

Then he cleared his throat. “I have something I need to say.”

Everyone stopped and looked at him. 

“I’m in love with Emma.”

The words shot through the quiet room, and then Liam spoke up.

“And you all wondered why I thought the baby might be his.”